by Robert Wilkinson
In Astrology and Love - Karmic Dances that Free the Soul, we explored how our inner nature conditions the outer forms of love that we dance with, and how the planets in our birth charts show where we can take command of our ability to attract someone who could be our ideal mate, or even our "Soul mate." Through the Law of Magnetic Attraction, we are drawn to, and draw people to us, who resemble the pictures in our subconsciousness of what we believe we want and need for fulfillment. Whether they seem to look like what we think we want or not, our subconscious mind holds different images of "the beloved" and we spend our time and energy searching for people who resemble those pictures. That's why someone "feels right," or doesn't. Your ability to attract your perfect mate, or ideal partner, starts with getting clear about what could be true for you. This means examining your wants, needs, desires, and values, since all of these are involved in who you attract, and why.
When unclear, we often mistake the lesser manifestations of desire and neediness for love. As I wrote in yesterday's article, “Absolute and ideal Love is an eternal and infinite uniting Force, while Astrology shows the timing on how Love expresses itself in all its manifestations…. Through how we respond to the timing on what we agree to and who we dance with, we set a swirl of multi-level karmas into motion, creating consequences that reverberate across space and time. Sometimes our karma creates pleasurable experiences and relationships, while other times we grow through the pain of not so wise choices in partnerships. We do learn from both, and they all offer us ways to create new future karmic connections and experiences that could manifest to our future benefit through what we think, feel, do, and say. It all depends on our point of view and our responses to what is pleasurable and painful, and how we greet our opportunities to grow beyond old desires into a greater, truer love.”
In astrology, by examining and understanding the qualities of our Moon sign and our Venus sign, we can understand our needs, likes, dislikes, and what truly nourishes us. How we express these determines the people we attract and our pleasurable and painful experiences with others. Often when we are young we learn unhealthy forms of emotional response, but as we mature we are able to raise the expression of our planetary manifestations to a higher level. As we change the inner pictures and our outer responses, we change who we attract, and eventually we learn what our ideal mate might look like. By raising how our Moon and Venus function, we attract more perfect forms of our ideal interactions, both in the material and psychological realms, through setting aside old insecurities (Moon) and vanities (Venus).
A healthy Moon allows us to care for ourselves and others in ways that are perfect for the need of the moment. We are no longer troubled by insecurities or feel unable to take care of ourselves, or behave in immature ways hoping to find someone who will fulfill our childish needs. As we change our lunar expression, we change the people we feel close to and want to be around, and through a process of selection and reflection, we eventually start attracting people who are able to care for us in ways that are healthy and appropriate to our matured self. This usually involves transcending inherited and learned parental patterns, many of which become obsolete as we individuate. As we release old unfulfilling patterns, we are able to embrace habits of living that strengthen and fulfill us.
Our Moon goes through ten thousand changes in the ways it expresses itself in our lives. By knowing some qualities about what our ideal mate would look like, we can avoid inappropriate relationships, and ensure that many potential wounds and relationship problems will never happen. Though our ideal may appear different with each changing season in our life, by being clear about what is a healthy relationship and what isn't we can navigate the changing forms of our relationships knowing we're on the right track.
The Moon, being naturally reflective, adaptive, and insecure, can be strengthened and nurtured by the qualities of our Sun and its abundant Solar force. The Sun shows our essential nature, where we are naturally the center of our own "Solar system," pouring out infinite light and warmth to our world. It shows us our heart's desire. By using the Sun to strengthen our Moon's expression, we are able to capture reflected forms of our heart’s desire rather than reflected illusions that leave us feeling insecure and needy. The Sun is the expression of our healthy loving friendships, the only real basis of lasting relationships. When we attract our heart's desire, it will always manifest as a loving friendship, regardless of whether the element of romance is present.
Venus, on the other hand, symbolizes the principle of romance and what we like. It is our ideal of grace, charm, and beauty. That's why its symbol is shaped like a hand mirror. It shows us our vanities, our self-reflection of all that we believe is agreeable in ourselves and therefore is agreeable in others and to others. As you can see, that sets up misunderstandings when what is agreeable to us is not necessarily agreeable to others, and why often when we believe we are being charming others may not respond as we hoped.
Venus is not as deeply feeling as the Moon, but it is the social feeling-function in us that is more outwardly oriented and eager to please and be pleased. Venus is the part of us that wants to be beautiful, be surrounded by beauty, and see beautiful things and people in our world. When we are operating with a dysfunctional Venus we can be seduced by superficial forms, images, and manifestations of what is agreeable rather than recognize the deeper truths and realities in self and others.
We all need the affectionate and pleasing experiences that Venus symbolizes. In our search for Beauty, however, we need to make sure that we are also searching for Truth and Goodness. These are all the higher traits of Venus, and so if we aren't seeing Truth or Goodness in another, then the Beauty is probably not appropriate for us. As we learn to link these higher qualities of Venus within ourselves, we are offered opportunities to manifest these traits and over time elevate our Venus function. As we refine our Venus and allow it to become the embodiment of Truth, Goodness, and Beauty, we naturally attract others who fulfill our higher aspirations.Through our willingness to refine and elevate our Moon and Venus functions, we bring an entirely different quality to our relationships, and attract those who are beautiful, elegant, charming, and nurturing.
As I wrote before, “… the Moon and Venus also show us how to be at ease with others, caring and concerned without giving up our strength, values, or ability to take care of ourselves. Learning how to recognize and know our likes and needs helps us to appropriate ways to play with our Moon and Venus energies, and shows us the way to some very pleasurable life experiences. Through knowing these parts of our inner nature we know how to care and be cared for, and how to be open to others without attracting hurtful experiences.”
By changing our inner images we change our life and the types of people we attract. As these change over time and experience, we are offered opportunities to grow into a more perfect life and love. And that's a very good thing!
(Originally published 10 June 2004)
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