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Dear Robert,

I have had this mesmerizing question in the back of my mind for as long as I can remember...

And while reading this article, it popped up again.

I believe we choose our life before birth and I believe we also choose our parents. It's part of the grand scheme of human/spirit evolution.
The parent choice - imho- is the most basic and most influential choice when wanting to be born.

Now I am a leo and aries ascendant, my mother is a aries/scorpio asc and my father a capricorn/taures asc.

while reading I suddenly felt this quiver, that my life is perfectly as I once foresaw it to be.

It feels as if my parents suddenly become more than just biological defined relationships, beyond the parenting and bringing up traditions into the realms of spiritual evolution.

I can feel the message herein, but it's too far just now from grabbing it and putting it into words/insight.

Can you shed some light?
give me some clues?

thanks again



Hi Lisa - As I understand it, we don't "choose" so much as a bunch of Souls make an agreement that if any two of them get together and choose to make a child (consciously or unconsciously), if your Soul is the mirror of their circumstances and would provide you the "perfect" ground for who you have been, who you are, and who you could become, then we are drawn to those Souls as parents. I believe there are several pairs who could be our parents, and much depends on their choices before we are magnetically pulled to them. They must be able to embody the energies of our past karmic patterns as well as provide the seed bed for our Soul.

Of course, they are part of our greater Soul group, and their charts must energetically have elements of our chart-to-be or they could not be our parents. And we also bring qualities to them, as well as the group energy we call our Earthly "family." That's why we can fit into that group, and have near or distant relations to others in that group. While I learned many things from my parents, I also brought in my own qualities they didn't have which they've chosen to learn from to a greater or lesser degree.

From one point of view, we ALL help each other learn whatever our hearts and minds allow, though again, some learn to a greater capacity than others, and much is determined by individual "free will" as we walk the family walk. Some of us "parent our parents," while others have parents they must walk away from, since karma dictates that we never indulge abusive behavior one instant longer than we must. Where there is love there is hope, but as we grow in awareness we move beyond old patterns, and if members of our "family" do not grow then we become separate through individuation. Then when we die we go back to the factory, awaiting the next point of desire for manifestation.

It is said that at 21 our personality stands in the same relationship to our Soul that it did the last time we checked out. That would imply that everything in our childhood must fulfill the law of our Being as we have written it across lifetimes, and our parents are only agents who sponsor some of those experiences. That's also why we find brothers and sisters we are closer to than our family siblings. And as we grow toward the light, while we can forgive many things, we cannot indulge bad behavior lest we suffer it needlessly in the future. Even those who have hurt us could be our friends or siblings and taught a higher way in another life, but this is not an inevitability, since we may incarnate at a different time than them. It's an extraordinarily complex situation, and I hope I've been able to communicate something I probably could write a book about.

carrie ann

I was married to a Pisces. I'm a Sag. My fire went out....


Your Highness,

Your timing is impeccable!

Love surrounds you!


Hi carrie ann - Just because your Suns were ruled by the same planet does not mean everyone lives "happily ever after." As you aptly noted, water does put out fire. Unless both are contained in perfect balance one or the other will extinguish.

Hi chickie - Glad to know that my timing is still on target. Will endeavor to persevere....


Hi again Robert,

My birthdate 09 Feb 70 @ 1:12pm, Windsor Ontario
My daugher Georgia is 09 Nov 03 @ 8:32pm, Leamington Ontario

At 3.5 years of age she already has a fascinating character. We have a loving and at the same time incredibly difficult relationship. I want to parent her in a disciplined yet creative way, in the hopes that she will make smart choices and blossom into her god given talents (influences i didn't have as a child).

Any advice before things get really crazy around here?

The best to you and travel safe.


Hi Julie - Your Suns are in square, so there will always be a bit of friction, since your light works at cross purposes (though yours, being lower square, actually anchors hers). She's bright, stubborn, a detective, but tires easily with Mars in Pisces opposition Jupiter in Virgo. With Venus conjunct Pluto, she's a bit of an extremist about her "freedom," and has mind-storms with Mercury square Uranus, also indicating temperamental genius. With Saturn conjunct the Star Sirius, she'll ultimately learn to play once she gets a steady, organized learning discipline. She needs to examine why she wants what she wants, and she's most apt to be cantankerous when she's tired. That will be true her entire life, so she'll need to learn when to back off, back down, and rest. Also, with Sun in Scorpio/Moon in Taurus she needs to learn how to enjoy things and not just keep pressing for more and more and more.... She's very intuitive, but must learn to go for roles that assure her an ever growing satisfaction so she doesn't wander off into boring or vague self-images that will lead to pressure building until she explodes one way or another. 3 is the midpoint of the 7 year cycle, and 4 will be illuminating and integrating. They don't call them "the terrible threes" for nothing! She starts a new 2 year Mars cycle next week, so take note, since it opposes her Jupiter and then squares her Pluto (conjuncted by transiting Jupiter) at the end of the month.


Dear Robert! A great post here again to help us to understand sinastry charts. I have some important squares(i think) in my natal chart (sun/aries squaring asc and nodal axis, moon in capricorn) and came into a relationship to a libra sun, opposing my sun, cancer moon, opposing my moon. It seems to be a very difficult and challenging relationship with karmic implications, but surely this helped me very much.
You said "The sign that is opposite any other sign works in terms of how things exteriorize, or come to understand the "I-Thou" process of its own self-realization. So Aries is the exteriorization of Libra..." it seems to be a good keyword phrase for me to understand better this relationship. Thanks again.

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