by Robert Wilkinson
A reader asked me to given some examples of what I mean when I speak of "self-undoing behaviors." To me, these are associated with the 12th house, and there are two forms of self-undoing behaviors; the positive, and the negative. This will be welcome news for anyone having a hard time with the changes.
If our attitude is positive, or when we know an inner truth, when it's time to end or "undo" an old part of our life, usually we don't have problems with doing what must be done. We can usually see clearly when it's time to "undo" an old aspect of our life and then we focus on doing what we have to do. When it's time for things to end, we end them, whether we like it or not. Our attitude can get in the way, but mostly it's about how much we're choosing to suffer or enjoy the journey.
Usually when I write about self undoing behaviors in this column, I'm referencing the 12th house negative possibilities, since these are what most people have a hard time with. These kinds of "self-undoing behaviors" are the many unfortunate ways we have of messing up something that doesn't need messing up, and often bring sorrow, doubt, confusion, or regrets.
Some examples of these kinds of self-undoing behaviors are when you do things that jam your own gears, or turn out to have unintended negative consequences. They are the things we do unconsciously, or consciously without understanding the implications of what we're doing, or are doing something we don't need to be doing, and probably shouldn't be doing. It can involve working against your own best interests, self-betrayal, hypocrisy, or not listening to your conscience or your inner voice.
It can range from hesitancy when boldness is needed to rash behavior putting things at risk needlessly. It can be moodiness when you should be celebrating, or reverting to old behaviors that cannot possibly have a favorable outcome at present. It may be trying to achieve something using the wrong tools and not realizing it until after the fact, or trusting something or someone that should not have been trusted to begin with. It could be treating something cheaply that should be held as precious, or the verbal slip that destroys social bonds that didn't need to be broken, or thoughtless ways of dealing with something or someone important to us.
Usually, self-undoing behaviors are associated with regrets. They are a good signal that a 12th house activity is happening in your life. And to be fair, just as there are regrets for things we didn't do right, it is also natural for there to be regrets at the end of every cycle, for all the potential that could have been but for whatever reasons never came to fruition. These types of regrets are very human, and shouldn't be taken as an inner signal to give yourself a hard time or start thinking you did something wrong.
It's all just reminding us to stay alert for appropriate endings as we move through the NOW, and be mindful so that we don't do what we shouldn't, or neglect to do what is in our best and highest interests. Since all we see, know, and live are vibrations, once we realize life is eternal flux we can move with the changes instead of resisting them or clinging to obsolete ways of doing our Being. There may be little comfort and no security in this transitory human condition, but there are lots of ways to learn how to live and give love, to ourselves, each other, and our world. And that's a very good thing.