Astrology Class - Why Do Some Signs Get Along Better With Other Signs?

by Robert Wilkinson

We all know that we seem to get along better with certain signs than others. That's the foundation of Relational Astrology, and gets to the heart of what parts of reality relate more or less harmoniously with other parts of reality. While then entire subject is more than we can address in one (or three!) articles, today I'll give you a sense of how the different signs relate to each other.

The sign of our Sun shows our illumination, while the sign of our Venus shows us our likes. Our Moon sign reveals our primal needs and feelings, while the sign of our Mars shows us what aggravates us as well as what spurs us to direct action. Mercury is the filter for our expressions, our Jupiter sign is how we view an expanded universe and life adventure, and our Saturn sign is what oppresses us or our expression of our authoritative experience. Not all of these are harmonious with each other, which is part of the complexity of human nature and why parts of us are in conflict and harmony with other parts of us.

That's why we're illuminated by certain people and situations, and very much like some people more than others. However, even our negative experiences can show us the lessons we need to learn about how we respond to certain sign energies, which is a life-long task. How we dance with the energies in our world shows us how capable we are or aren't, and what we're learning about wholeness and fragmentedness.

It is helpful to regard the 12 signs as 6 polarities. Any two signs that oppose each other are two faces of one coin, a polarity of the expression of each other. Thus they are natural mate signs, and why in Astrology we often read that opposing signs make for good partnerships. While this is not an absolute by any means, there is a definite attraction between signs that oppose each other. Of course, an opposition may be productive of great give-and-take, or great battles, depending on a host of things.

Signs that square each other are said to produce friction, but they can also generate great energy when the tension is used wisely. Usually the conflict and the solution to any conflict is to be found in the positive expression of the signs opposing those that square each other, since those are balancing forces to whatever is in energetic release. For example, when we find an Aries square Cancer energy, then we must wisely apply positive Libra and Capricorn traits to express the square in a favorable way. By studying the attribute of the signs you can learn a lot more about how these things work.

Fire signs are generally harmonious with Air signs. Water signs are generally harmonious with Earth. Sometimes due to being at the beginning or end of a sign, planets in signs usually disharmonious with each other can find harmony. And of course, as we evolve from our lower self to our Higher Self our sign expressions get better and better, and we bring the positive traits of those signs to situations in our lives.

If you're interested in learning more about which signs square and oppose each other, please go to Which Signs Square or Oppose Each Other? You'll find that in understanding the relationship of various signs to each other, you may come to understand your past, present, and future experience better, especially if you know anything about the signs of the people you've danced with. What I've given you here, along with the linked article, should help you understand the basis of many interpersonal dynamics.

© Copyright 2007 Robert Wilkinson

Comments

[jacs]

Hi, Robert
I was curious if you did personal charts. I I tried regular email but I am not so sure you received that. Sorry if this is not the right place to ask.
Your insight and site is wonderful. Thank you! What a rollercoaster ride these few years and months have been. I know have have moon/venus in Aries---a challenge to rein in...Mars in Leo....Mercury in Gemini....and I am a Taurus with Sagg rising which I like. But all else fails me....please let me know what the process is or if you do charts.
Enjoy Amsterdam....a city I fell in love with immediately. Enjoy the flower markets on the side streets and those wonderful coffee bars and the incredible hospitality of that city and country. Lovely place. I miss it.
Jacquie

[Jay]

Robert,

I don't know what's going on, but again I was thinking about a topic and you just wrote about it!

I was comparing my chart with my son's and daughter-in-law's and asking myself which aspects to draw upon to handle the squares between my chart and each of theirs. There are trines but also squares.

So, regarding your comment: "when we find an Aries square Cancer energy, then we must wisely apply positive Libra and Capricorn traits to express the square in a favorable way". . . is that the key? Rather than looking for, say a trine or sextile to draw upon, would it be more helpful to confront the squares, look at the "empty" aspects and balance them by applying their positive aspects?

Also, what is the orb for a square in a comparison chart. Is it the same as natal?

[Robert]

Hi jacquie - Yes, I do personal chart readings. I probably got your email but haven't had time to answer any that have come in the past few days due to other things eating my time. Thanks for your praise of the site. You can go to the link on the left side of the front page to find out about how I do my personal readings. Right now I have a few slots open in early May. There's usually a 3-5 week wait as I book up that far in advance, but perseverance furthers, and sometimes slots open up for a variety of reasons. And yes, I'm looking forward to time in Europe, though that means that many will have to schedule their reading for June!

Hi Jay - Well, I often do that! As far as I can see, the harmonious aspects provide understanding between us and others, or at the least, points of commonality. The voids created by squares show the problem and the solution to that problem. We often have to use a combination of the two (thanks, Janis and Sam Andrew!) to achieve the results we desire. As for orbs, I go more on which planets are involved, and whether they're in the same sign or not. For example, I give the Sun or Moon squares an 8 degree orb, mas o menos, but usually only 6 degree orb for the other planets. And a span from 18 to 26 degrees within a sign is usually a square, whereas an aspect of 25 degrees of one sign to 3 degrees of another usually isn't, unless there are other factors, like collection of light, translation of light, or a stellium is involved.

[Lisa Saliture]

Robert,

If I understood what you once said, planets represent people in our lives, and usually are there in areas where we need to learn something in our lives.

When dealing with progressed planets, do you find from your readings for others that the people who are in our lives by progression, always end up moving on after we (or they) have learned whatever it is that we needed to learn or experience, and once their planets aren't transiting our planetary houses any longer?

Sometimes, we have romantic relationships with others by progression, but have you found that some people can become more or less permanent mates, or even best friends after their progressed planets are no longer transiting our natal houses? Could the relationship maintain long-term even when their natal charts do not match up as well as their progressed selves do, up to this point in their lives?

Progression in my view, means that this is who you have become at this point in time, because of the experiences and people who have touched your lives, both positiviely and negatively, therefore changing who we were when we were first born, and according to our natal chart.
So, that would mean, the progressed "you" might not match the original natal chart "you", because you've gone through what you've needed to go through, according to the aspects, sextiles, squares, etc., found in your own personal natal chart, correct?

[Robert]

Hi Lisa - Yes, planets are people, and we work most of our experience out through interactions with others. Yes, I've noted that sometimes the correlation between progressions and people coming and going in our lives is fairly close. However, only the progressed Moon really moves all that fast, and the others are much slower. Besides, remember that progressions usually show more our inner movement than outer circumstances, which are more the transits. Transits also show us those who come and go.

Just because a transit or progression moves on does not mean someone will leave our life. It all has to do with free will, since they and we choose to continue or not, regardless of circumstances. Any relationship is as long term as the participants choose to make it. Progressions do not negate natal tendencies, but they do flesh them out. It's all whether you are using the planets positively or not. We're always who we are, but modify the responses through progressions and transits according to the seasons of our lives and how much we choose to learn. We move on, so our outer interests move on. The timing of the outer is usually the transits.

[Valerie]

Hi Robert,

A very good article with useful information about the signs. People ask me all the time, who am I compatible with?

Just for the sake of examples, I am a Cancer (but you know that) and I was married to a Capricorn for twenty years. At first I thought it would be good, since opposites attract and all that. Plus with all my water planets, I thought he with his earth would complete me. My Mars is in Cap. Also our Saturns are conjunct in one sign, Scorpio. Well it deteriorated rather quickly but because we had kids we stuck it out. Cancer is very clinging and needs a secure home, and Capricorn has to keep up appearances. But we became miserable and discovered that we were light years apart, especially spiritually. I can see now why it lasted so long and also that I needed this to learn some things. I could write a book about all the realizations I had.

On the other hand... my parents are Virgo and Sag (not compatible) but have been married 56 years. Dad's sun is on Mom's ascendant, maybe that's why. I think alot depends on how committed two people are, how mature, and how much they are willing to work at it.

[Robyn]

i was drawing up charts for some of the people (5) who have been closest in my life, good friends, ex boyfriends, and what not. i found a striking similarities.

After accounting all the elements and qualities, i found that the majority of people i form bonds with are abundant in fire or air elements. Along with the strange occurance of getting into relationships with men that usually have a predominance of one certain sign in their chart (Aries, Leo, Cancer, Libra).

I myself adding up to being Airy & Mutable, with a predominance of Gemini having a Water sun found it quite interesting, but i guess that's how that works.

[Valerie]

Robyn, what sign is your Venus in, and Jupiter? Inspite of all my Cancer stuff, my Venus is in Leo and I have found that I really prefer people with some fire, who are lively, outspoken and and like to have fun. (I don't think I care for Capricorns nowadays.) Also Jupiter is with my Cancer sun so I also like Sag types- again, those with some fire. Whatever sign your Jupiter is in, you will be happy with those people and like each other. Generally speaking. My Cap ex-husband has Jupiter in Gemini and he married a Gemini. Go figure. Just a suggestion.... :)

[Robert]

Hi Valerie - I suppose we could be compatible with all with whom we share spiritual affinity, regardless of their signs. That said, there are many who are NOT living the life of the Spirit. Great insights about Jupiter, since in fact those whose Jupiter contacts ours or vise versa in fact do assist each other. Saturn contacts tend to be a bit of a problem, even if in the long run they assist us to a difficult but necessary point of view. Maybe you should write the book! Sun on an Asc is a strong attraction, and yes, maturity and commitment matters more than a lot of other factors.

Hi robyn - Elements do often create an affinity, since Fire people attract Fire people, Earth people do understand each other, and so forth. Modes (Cardinal, Fixed, Mutable) often do have an affinity, but wind up in dynamic relationship trading off functions at various times due to element issues. You've actually hit upon one of the most important issues of interpersonal and group dynamics.

[robyn]

Valerie - Both my Venus & Jupiter are in Gemini (as well as my Moon and Ascendant). I get along with most anyone really.

I tend to get burned by fire in the long run. Aries do not understand my emotional nature. Cancers, i do have a comfortable affinity to, but some aren't as... strong minded enough? (mercury in leo). Hands down, I adore Scorpios & Taurus'.

Capricorns seem to be the only earth sign that have a "dampening" effect on me (equal parts of water + earth = stuck in the mud?). The associations of elements are rather illustrative of relationships, and humorous.

I've learned that there needs to be at least one Earth planet in the other person's chart if i'm gonna have any kind of stability.

[robyn]

OH and Valerie- My mom is and Aries and my dad was a Virgo. COMPLETELY INCOMPATIBLE!

[Valerie]

Hi Robyn- great comments! I've often thought of that "stuck in the mud" idea- that's how my marriage felt sometimes. I was the one stuck.

Cancers usually like Scorpios and Tauruses- I know I do. I like Virgos too. I just like them better if they have a fire planet or two. As for Gemini, they are comfortable with most of the signs because they are naturally sociable and adventurous. So you have a lot of Gemini going on but also have some basic Cancer sensitivities. And Venus, Jupiter and Moon together is great. You must be a very friendly and affectionate person. Very nice. You can be successful at writing, crafts or speaking (Gemini stuff.)

Aries and Virgo- ow!

Hi Robert- thank you, I am contemplating writing that book. Also partial credit goes to Steven Arroyo who said that people with Jupiter ties sometimes just like eachother. But I've been studying Jupiter in my life and relationships for a long time. I always feel good during a Jupiter transit and I have alot of Jupiterian/Sag traits. I even attract Sag in my family, my dad, my grandmother and one of my sons are Sag!

Great dialogue everyone. :)

[Valerie]

ps... oh, a reminder- I have Jupiter conjunct my Sun and Moon in Cancer, so there you go...

[TrumansCat]

Hi Robert,
My boyfriend & I are poles apart in terms of Sun & Moon signs, he is a Capricorn & I am a Leo. He has a Taurus moon & mine is Gemini.
We do both share a mutable cross of matter, my ascendant is Pisces & his is Gemini... I am wondering whether this is where our compatibility stems from?

[Robert]

Hi TrumansCat - You Asc works productively with his Earth, while his Asc and your Moon do well with each other. Check out your Venus contacts, since that rules our "likes."