by Robert Wilkinson
There is a lot of confusion concerning Soul Mates and the Twin Flame. Much of it stems from glamor, illusion, and Maya working through the unfulfilled desire minds of those who want to believe they're found "the One." Today we examine the similarities and differences between a Soul Mate, a "help mate," and the Twin Flame.
I originally posted this in a different form some time back. It was inspired by someone wondering why I regard "helpmate" or Soul Mate as completely different than our "Twin Flame."
There is a vast difference between those who help us, those who travel with us across space and time, and our "Divine Other." Hopefully, this post can help clarify how I regard these. If you're wondering what to look for in your perfect mate, the one you've been waiting for across space and time, read on.
I always encourage people to cultivate what I have termed "help mates." As I see it, a help mate is someone who is a genuine help to us. We can have many help mates throughout our lives, which is a wonderful thing. A help mate assists our recognition of our better traits as well as genuine allies and friends, whether for an hour or a lifetime.
Our help mates and true friends assist us to orient our view to recognize what is in our best interests, as well as the greatest good for the greatest number. Our friends and help mates call forth our heart's response in genuine love, affection, and a healthy reserve so we can dance in the relationship without going into spaces that are in no one's best interests.
I've posted many things in comment streams about "Soul Mates," "Help Mates," and the "Twin Flame." Basically, anyone who brings up a greater love could potentially be a "Soul mate," but may not be the best material for a lifelong partner. Soul Mates can even break your heart so you know what unconditional love can feel like if you choose to renounce the conditions around the love inspired by that Sentient Being.
That's why I never encourage people to cling to a perceived "Soul Mate," but rather seek friends because they are your Helpmates who assist your growth into a greater love, affection, friendship, and connectedness. Where there's an ability to make a friend who you can love and who can love you, there is happiness, connectedness, and maybe even a partner.
Our Soul Mates are many. We will dance with many sentient Beings who are our friends and lovers across time. Hopefully we learn lots about conditional and unconditional love from all of them. We can always find the greater love we seek, but we also must have a plan and patience as we move through the various changes and lessons.
Now to the heart of the matter. While friends, help mates, and Soul Mates are many, there is only One Twin Flame. The Twin Flame is your "other half" you were split from at the beginning of human individuation 3 million years ago.
I believe it is safe to say that our Twin Flame is someone who will show up initially as a friend, help mate, or even a Soul Mate, but be much greater than any of these. Our Twin Flame will be a genuine help to us, a friend who we will spontaneously love and whose company we will enjoy.
This is a useful signpost. Basically, if they're not our friend, if there isn't a healthy affection, reserve, and respect so we can dance separately and together over time and through various experiences, then they're not our Twin Flame.
Just remember that we and they still have ego stuff to contend with, since we're all in a body with feelings, ideas, and memories that condition our behavior. We've all developed personality habits that may obscure our ability to recognize our Twin Flame. That's why we need patience, maturity, and good will toward others even if they seem not to be a "perfect fit."
We've ALL fallen into unhelpful habits of perception. Still, regardless of preconceptions and ego limitations, there will be little or no tendency to push apart once you recognize each other and resolve that old personality habits won't mess up your dance.
Your Twin Flame will inspire the best in you, and never accompany an unhealthy dependency, manipulation, or put you down in ways that make you feel slimed or other such nasty habits. As you can see, a "Soul Mate" could teach you through both fortunate and unfortunate experiences, but your Twin Flame will always be a true friend.
Your Twin Flame will call forth a spontaneous joy, anticipation of what's to come, but not in ways that make you feel anxious or unfulfilled. We may experience these to the degree we're trapped in ego assumptions and desires. But the Twin Flame will never induce us to feel dependent, manipulated, anxious or unfulfilled.
To describe the indescribable, I believe it's like a homecoming between true friends who have known each other since the beginning of time. Thus there will be no sense of urgency to the relationship, and probably not much of a conflict between "should I or shouldn't I?" You will both feel strengthened and whole, individually and together, once ego limitations are voluntarily renounced.
A true Soul mate is one we can have an eternal adventure with. They show up in both genders. We have many "Soul mates," and anyone we're drawn to represents those qualities to some degree if we're not operating from the lower ego. A Soul Mate may even have some qualities of your Twin Flame, but if they were truly your Twin Flame, you'd be together, of one heart instantaneously.
They could not have resisted what they would have picked up in you, and the attraction would grow over time and experience rather than diminish. The cup is always filled to the brim. So learn to take the many you're drawn to as symbols of elements of your Twin Flame, and open to whichever ones awaken your Highest Self.
No one EVER "settles for their Twin Flame." A Twin Flame IS your other half, across space and time, forever and ever. If you ever met, you could never imagine anyone else under any circumstances, since your Twin Flame IS your absolute complement. They are everything you've ever wanted, imagined, or dreamed of, and you are the same thing for them. You are different, but perfectly complementary. I mean perfectly.
I was asked if we could meet our "Twin Flame" and then part. I suppose Twin Flames could come together briefly, for example, if one was married to another not their twin flame. It could be very painful for the personality to suffer the separation, so one might split in another direction because of the impossibility of feeling such a strong connection without the ability to fulfill the relationship. But I would also think there would be an attraction forever that would never leave the consciousness.
I know I've opened the door to ten thousand questions. Please re-read and meditate on what I've written here, and welcome insights based in past relationships (male AND female) to show you elements of what your heart desires more than you can describe. The good news is that almost all human Souls attached to this Earth are incarnated, and thus our Twin Flame could very well be alive somewhere.
With instant communications and extraordinary mobility unlike any other time in history, there's a greater chance we could find our Twin Flame if we cultivate personality traits that could attract them. That's why fear, clutching, confusion, doubt, and attachments won't help.
Only when we open to the highest can the highest manifest. We must be operating from our Higher Self for that which is our perfect complement across infinity and eternity to manifest.
Consider that your life's homework. There are no failing grades for your efforts, but at some point there will be the perfect manifestation of your Highest Self and heart's desire. It's called the Twin Flame.
© Copyright 2009 Robert Wilkinson