Astrology and Relationships - How Do Our Spiritual Planets Affect Others?

by Robert Wilkinson

This is a part of the art of synastry, of seeing how our planets affect others and vise-versa. This subject fills entire books, so today's article won't be exhaustive, but it addresses something mostly overlooked in the texts.

This was inspired by a recent comment by someone who had one of the outer invisible triad conjunct planets in another chart. Any time someone's Uranus, Neptune, or Pluto conjuncts planets in another person's chart, expect major transformational energies to predominate, along with some degree of misunderstanding.

As I told the querent,

Any time our outer invisibles contact another's personal planets, they are impacted in ways that are beyond ego controls. Some get unnerved, some get threatened, some move forward despite the uncertainty of dancing into the unknown transpersonal, and some enthusiastically embrace the Mystery.

Neptune shows our openness to collective consciousness on vast levels. It becomes a strong astral body sensitivity as we grow into that energy. All the planets impact all our bodies simultaneously. Once we discipline our lower nature to conform to our Higher Self, the ability to BE the living representative of Uranus, Neptune, or Pluto (or a combination of them, since they always work together to a single Divine purpose) in our world gets stronger. And with practice, more and more evident.

With Pluto rising, I also am seen to be intense.... Since that's my Dharma this life, a long time ago I figured out it was my responsibility to do the best I could with that type of "beyond ego controls" energy. Also, those of us who trigger the outer invisible responses in another will be seen as a Saturn influence by those who are not conscious of the Spiritual reality.

That's why we must take responsibility (Saturn!) for how we respond to what was triggered in the other. A mature and patient response always helps, as does knowing limits and boundaries when dancing with someone who hasn't learned perfectly healthy responses.

So whether we're dealing with Uranus, Neptune, or Pluto, the impact between charts is fairly intense, and beyond "ego controls." Those with the outer invisibles on the angles often serve as vehicles for awakening these in others. Many responses we encounter when this is active cannot be taken personally.

These are transpersonal energies involving "walking between worlds" (the visible and invisible.) Whether another understands what's being awakened or not, we all occasionally serve as vehicles to other vaster understandings and doors of hither-to-unknown perception being opened. The more we are aware of higher realities, the more likely this is to occur.

We cannot expect that others will "get it." Good if they do, unfortunate if they don't, but once we operate as vehicles of awakening, we must learn radical detachment, since whether another "gets it" or not cannot be taken personally. Of course, that also works the other way around, in that those who stimulate our outer invisible planets serve to awaken us to greater transpersonal realities.

The unfortunate fact of evolutionary differences is that as we become aware of certain things, then we must learn that many will in fact NOT "get it." It then becomes a question of how willing they are to "get it," or how resistant they are to getting it.

In any case (and in every case!) we must choose what is right for us. Those who choose to live a life embracing eternal principles cannot take it personally if another just "doesn't get it." All we can do is take responsibility for our own Dharmic necessity, and leave others to grow into the Eternal at their own pace. Sooner or later, eventually they will.

That's the benefit of being a conscious or unconscious awakener. We all impact each other more than we can imagine, often months or years after the initial stimulus of our outer planet contacting something in their chart. We are all One Life together, and the interrelationships are very complex. That's the amazing quality of being a Spirit in the material world.

© Copyright 2009 Robert Wilkinson

Comments

[Jorge Torres]

Thank You Robert !!!!!!!!

[Vera]

Wow! Profound! and intense....hehe

Sun/Pluto/Uranus conj. personality here and yesss, I relate....was in what I am sure was a soul mate relationship....it blew apart due to major misunderstanding as well as psychological head games on the part of the ex....still love him dearly and wish he would get it.....do narcissists (Venus in Aries) ever get it?

His sun opposite my Pluto...yikes....anyway...I got it, I am so different now but then I had Saturn go through my Sun/Uranus/Pluto.....I had to get it...lol

His Neptune opposite my Rising Sign....sigh...miss his intensity...it matched mine....but hey....like you say we can't take it personally.....I did at the beg. but now capitalizing on it....much more focused (saturn)and empowered...

[Aphrodite]

Thank you Robert!

I’ve been sitting here pondering about a relationship which does not go away and still does not seem to get anywhere. It started 20 years ago and after a brake of 15 years popped back into my life a couple of years ago. Like my friends say, it is like a movie, not real life.

Anyway, he does not seem to get it – not at all – and I have been taking it rather personally. I just want to help him you see :). This article of yours answers my questions – perfect timing and no coincidence for sure. Thank you thank you!

[kachina]

Robert says: "we must learn radical detachment"

Absolutely. :) Pluto on the IC, heavily aspected, including square to Mars, has necessitated this for my own well-being.

I have recently had a new person enter my life. Our synastry shows my Pluto exact his Sun, and my Neptune conj. his Moon/Neptune. I am wondering as to if the dynamics of my Neptune upon his Moon will be lessened as he is already carrying the Moon/Neptune natal?

Any thoughts, including those of community members are appreciated! Thank you. :)

Blessings All~

[Yeshe]

Right on Robert! My Pluto/Uranus conjunction sits on my mid-heaven - no wonder I have been like a light illuminating the darkest aspects in situations I walk into. Earlier in my life I felt cursed. Now that I have achieved some means of detachment I can sit and watch the fireworks go off and am better at allowing people to find their own way; though I still get frustrated and impatient at times, then I send light and love and some "om manis" their way with the realization everyone is on their own journey. Blessings to you!

[Siri]

Thank you, Robert. What a magical perspective. And your timing couldn't be more perfect.

[H]

Magic & Cheers Robert & all, practising detachment does get easier.... Reading this too is most helpful particularly if Ego gets a hold a bit & diddles the mind with 'what did i do's ???' I'm off for a bit more OCD with a chart or 2!! :) Joy.... Aum H

[Juliet]

"That's the amazing quality of being a Spirit in the material world."

Sting! "We are Spirit in the material world"

:-)

[Valerie]

I have a feeling you're going to get lots of responses on this one! Those outers are really enigmatic. And I too have had relationships similar to the above mentioned. In particular the one whom I believe is my twin flame, and I've been trying for almost nineteen years to figure him out. My Venus is conjunct his Saturn, Pluto and midheaven, his Neptune squares my Moon, Sun and Mars. Ever try to catch a fish with your bare hands? Detachment is definitely the best way for me. Can't wait to see what everyone else has to say! I'm sure everyone in our generation has to deal with this some time. :)

[Happy Taurus]

uhm, i'm venus in aries, and i think i get it... at least i'm trying, and i consider myself humble, not a narcissist... it seems important to me that astrologers especially avoid stereotyping!

[Jean]

Hey Robert,
what a most excellent article and topic.
Having just come out of a "bruising romance" (to say the least), which spanned two countries and several months, the topic of synastry has raised more questions than answers. I remember laughing to myslef while working my way back up from "The Underworld" saying "It looked great on paper!" And it did. But you make several points in your article the most pertinent at this point for me being evolutionary differnces of individuals envolved and there is much in between the lines of what you have written regarding synastry.
There seems to be no high ground when in the underworld where shadows loom large and powerful, and looking back on the way up and out can be fatal. Evolutionary differnces seems to be the hinge point in my understand of synastry at this point along with free will and individuals having the freedom to be where they are in their process.
Synastry is alchemy and alchemy can be likened to cooking. Two seperate chemicals, numerous ingredients coming together under heat, time, and pressure to create something completely different, and irreversible than the original components-(paraphrasing Liz Greene).
Astrological data aside...yes, the "map" looked great. But human shadows always have their own agenda, and it appears today to be that of the evolution of all parties concerned with or without our sanctions or permissions.
Please excuse the long ass post.
Peace.
Jean

[Morvah]

Well said that survivor! I agree with all that, certainly my own experience bears it out. In the end we 'get' what we've come to learn, sometimes way after the event. Hope your bruises are healing.
Thank you Robert, Trying to absorb this properly amidst a welter of Sag/Mars activity, certainly something to look out for with Saturn lurking! Bless you for a fine piece of teaching
Shanti

[BrightStar]

Concise and spot on Robert! Thank you for reminding me about 'radical detachment'.

My confusion stems from knowing when to 'detach'. When do you 'let go and let live' if the person(s) seems to struggle and still does not get it? How long do you attempt to guide? Is detaching correct when it would mean letting go of an entire family of people who treats one disrespectfully and with little value?

For a 9H Merc & Moon CAN, trine 5H Sat/Chi PIS & 1H Nep SC, it is very challenging to 'get it' and detach from those who simply can not see.

[AMC]

I'm not sure what site I've found here but I know that about a month ago I felt compelled to seek answers after a year long relationship (overseas relationship - we were to marry) where he suddenly vanished - he's not missing, just detached for no apparent reason. Not only that but my losses this past year are too numerous to digest. The speed at which the changes are occurring is giving me whiplash. I sensed an urge to explore causes for all this. I wanted reasons for changes that I didnt initiate. Well it started with me picking up the horoscope section of the newspaper one day and has snowballed into deep exploration of planets and charts I wish I understood and about 20 sites I struggle with trying to make sense of it all. I was born June 2nd 1972 at 10:11am. I know I'm a gemini with leo rising and I know I think WAY too much!
I found this site helpful firstly due to the comments. I felt a relief to know there's other people dealing with the same issues but knowing there's a larger force at work which explains it all. I just wish there was a way to harness the chaos so I can get a grip and be prepared for what happens next. I apologize for the rookie intrusion but I wanted to comment on finally finding a bit of breakthrough after reading your posts.

[Robert]

Hi Jorge - You're most welcome.

Hi Vera - Well, it's only a gloss, but an important subject nonetheless. You're the living exemplar of Solar Uranian and Plutonian energies. If there's any unexamined invisible substance in others you get close to, it will certainly come out over time. We can love others dearly, but if they choose to hide from their own transformational necessity, we are hindered in how much we can do because of the Prime Directive.

Narcissistic disorders are not confined to Venus in Aries, though they can be somewhat self centered, which is not necessarily a pathology (think certain types of enlightened self interest here.) Venus in Aries is quick to like/dislike things, and can be refreshingly spontaneous when in the groove. You have been in a major "lesson learning" and maturing time, haven't you? Still, as I go through my Saturn return and so many things are ending, I remember that every ending is followed by a new beginning, and in the words of America's Bard, "I was so much older then, I'm younger than that now...." Jupiter opposite your Virgo stellium should bring new openings in relationships with those who are more compassionate, empathic, and adventurous.

Hi Aphrodite - Movies are ruled by Neptune, so be aware of subtleties, illusions and projections. Glad to be able to remind you that we cannot make another "get it." And some people play out delusionary games on others if they haven't seen through the game and need to. I've always believed people should be respectfully courted in friendship rather than get into tugs of war over peculiar agendas.

Hi kachina - You also have to learn how to get around inhibiting factors while getting the cooperation you need for that which others don't understand. And the dynamics won't be lessened - if anything, you will intensify his lessons around that, since you're the living embodiment of that energy. Just realize he may project his inner Neptune and Pluto on you, whether you've done anything to warrant it or not. How he responds to the Spiritual imperative you symbolize will determine everything. But at least you'll be able to articulate what's going on for him, so perhaps he'll become more positive in his responses to his Neptune and Pluto.

Hi Yeshe - You will no doubt be misunderstood in significant ways as you assert your power and authority. That position shows you stir things up for others at the "bottom of their being." You help their individuality come forth by showing what elements of their past needs purifying or annihilating. Blessings to you as well.

Hi Siri - Glad the timing was good for you and so many others. Seems like a theme is in the air (especially with Saturn exactly square Pluto!)

Hi H - Sometimes it really doesn't have anything to do with us per se, and all the "what did I do" thinking leads nowhere. Enjoy larking about....

Hi Juliet - That's why I used that phrase, since it's embedded in millions of consciousnesses around the world. And in fact, we are Eternals having a materially human experience. Always a good thing to remember when we need courage to move forward into unknown zones.

Hi Valerie - I'll probably try to post more on the subject, since it is one of the more important elements of our interactive experience. Your appreciation and affection stirs his Saturn and Pluto, and your Lights and Mars either release his Neptune potential or put the brakes on illusory elements of it. As one with Neptune in the solar 7th, I've had a lot of other people's Neptunian energies to deal with this lifetime! But at least I've learned to try to keep it all somewhat realistic and not allow my own ideals to run away from what's really happening.

Hi Happy Taurus - I agree that none should immediately associate a planet in a given sign with a pathology. Each planet has its duality of positive v negative behaviors, regardless of what sign it occupies. To note, I speak as one with 3 planets in Aries that at times that sign can come off as somewhat egocentric. But as I try to make clear, I have found it's not that we're trying to be difficult as much as that we cannot do it any other way. Aries, as the first sign, shows almost infinite potential and a minimum of actual. Not very sophisticated, but very enthusiastic and truly, what you see is what you get.

Hi Jean - You've hit upon a great relational truth. Regardless of the favorable contacts between charts, if one is moving upward into their Spiritual power and/or transcending the allure of matter while the other is moving downward into dense expressions and embracing matter-as-reality, it makes for difficult communications. Yes, there is much more to explore in this subject, and reading between the lines can give subtle insights into this very complex subject.

Actually, there is high ground in the underworld, as long as we choose to go there rather than take the low road in our responses. Another way to look at it is that claiming rulership of the underworld can be much more satisfying than being a slave in this impermanent world. And yes, when it's time to come up for air, it's usually best not to look back. Also good not to look back on failed relationships other than to see how we were seduced into or out of something so we don't have to go there again.

Good cooking analogy. I'll add that often we need to make sure the apples we're adding are ripe, and not rotten!;-) Or that if some ingredient still isn't cooked after a certain point, the whole thing may get burned if we try to accommodate that one thing. Also, a little of a type of spice may be perfect, but if someone else keeps dumping more and more into the dish it will turn out pretty funky!

Hi Morvah - The current trines from Sag to Leo should be lighting up a lot in our lives! The quintiles to Saturn as they approach the trine to Mars has yielded some interesting experiences and insights in my life.

Hi BrightStar - Detachment should be a relatively constant state regarding all things that present themselves to our 5 senses and minds. I believe it's always good to "live and let live," since after a point we can do nothing except understand how and when to flow on, whatever that means in the particular situation. Even when we have social responsibilities, it's doesn't mean we're supposed to be attached to obsolete ways of viewing and being viewed.

I've also found that when we change within a family system, parts of it change fairly radically, while other parts resist the changes. Again, detachment helps since whatever is or is not happening usually has little to do with us personally, though it may have to do with a collective projection we can no longer prop up. I believe we are here to do our role until the role is no longer what we need to do.

Disrespect should never be tolerated, but if we're with a quarrelsome person, often the best solution is a lot of distance between us and them. I find self exile preferable to dancing with difficult people who are selfish, mean spirited, or just obstinate.

Hi AMC - We've all been saying goodbye to many this past year. I believe it has to do with Saturn opposition Uranus followed by Saturn square Pluto, showing a time to purify and be spun in new directions and new relationships while letting go of old ones. Why don't you site google "centrifuge" and read about Saturn opposition Uranus in the archives. Then go to the articles I wrote a few weeks ago about the Saturn square Pluto. Glad you found a breakthrough. Plenty more coming as you continue to hang out at this cosmic pizzeria. Also more to come about The Grand Irrationality which is been loading up big time recently.

[kachina]

AMC,
Hello and welcome. :)
My heart felt drawn to say hello, and wish you well, and to mention, we are all 'rookies' at one time or another, in one thing or another, and I think it is wonderful you are jumping right in and seeking to find a better understanding of your experiences within your personal journey.
Many Blessings~kachina

[AMC]

Thank you for the warm welcome Kachina. I'll be the one hanging out catching up on all the archives! Robert, The Grand Irrationality explains a whole lot of weirdness alright. I am SO happy to see things from a new perspective. Its nothing less than comforting to be able to observe a moody coworker going off on a rant because you forgot to put a staple in a report and know he's reacting in such a way probably because of some planetary factors affecting his life. During these past few weeks I've had people comment on how I dont seem to have temper issues anymore..like not a whole lot phases me or ruffles my feathers and I'm no longer on the defense. I think its because I'm too preoccupied studying everyone else around me. I'm naturally receptive to change and even crave it but when you see how others react to being forced out of their comfort zone it can get interesting.

[Anna]

And that's EXACTLY what I LOVE about this life!

[BrightStar]

Thanks Robert!! :)

[caliban]

Must be tightening up my act: I've been highlighting comments like with a yellow highlighter the last few days.

Of particular note here, is the comment on seduction. It's midnite and I am still reworking a research paper for class due to the "peer review" by my assigned peer classmate. I changed the angle and did the hours of rework. And now my work no longer makes any sense. I'd scream but I am deliriously exhausted and can only laugh like a mad woman. He didn't get it, and I bought it. I'll try not to look back and slap him when I see him tomorrow.

[Anne]

and what about Lilith ? (my venus on his Lilith, in Aquarius) since we are talking relations..?

[H]

Mucho gratis Robert for all comments, gratefully received :0)Am getting into the Larking about groove - Ace... Recent book ' The Law of Attraction' an additional excellent read.. Also Welcome to AMC Great you found this Community... i felt / feel the same way when i 'Found' here :) H

[Marie]

I missed the comments as I was in London,,,having this exact experience...in very unfamiliar surroundings and so had to use this very kind of awarenes of response...on home ground I would have been more truthful, probably to detriment or simply fled the scene.I found refuge with the Big fella..G.O.D???
Even in the middle of a sprawling metropolis. Happy that it is there for me at all times. I think you mentioned Pluto rising in my chart,,,i will recheck. I find that I can often bear with someone for a year, whether it is too long or not long enough but these respnses sure ebough do come.Leading to , well I am nt sure. Though the person seems to eventually 'get it'I sometimes feel it has been a ta price and I have had to feel a sense of failing or dissapointing them in order for this too happen. It is painful even if not the entire truth.
I think i can begin to manage the feelings better by making use of the wonderful resource i have been given,,,knowing that i can never really be lost or alone
Thanks Robert
xm

[Siri]

Robert said, "Those with the outer invisibles on the angles often serve as vehicles for awakening these in others."

I just realized. The angles. I've got Uranus and Pluto sitting in close proximity to the IC.

Chiron's not an outer, but the bridge, I know... but my Chiron's sitting 2 degrees from MC at 7 Pisces and my intuition tells me there's a connection. Must ponder this more.

[caliban]

Greetings AMC, from a recovering over thinker. Astrology is definitely part of my cure.

[CIndy]

Hey Robert!
I too have Pluto on my ascendant. People come into my life at critical times in their lives, we hang out for a while, they transform and heal, then they leave.

Sorry, but I get lonely sometimes....I wish that one would stay :)

I am a healer astrologer and psychic, that is my life. I am my mother and father too. Waiting for the right one to come along, its been a long time! Thanks for your brilliance and love!

Cindy