9XDgF2-MAi8WJepGTLdB5_WxzmCJVCUE89U8FuPJR0F4oWFodlsJcHfTgAMT



To Schedule A Personal Appointment

Ordering the comprehensive webinar/class on the 2014 Year Overview

Current Webinars and Classes


Current recorded talks for sale


Free Astrology Love Reports for All Signs

What is Astrology?


A Television Interview Where I Go Into A Lot Of Things!
Robert Wilkinson TV Interview on Bridging Heaven and Earth



If you grieve the death of a loved one
My book, "Love Dad," and how to heal your grief.


Support Aquarius Papers

Official Site Sponsors and Wonderful People!

Moonflower Enterprises

Maya Earth Coffee
Featuring The Best In Guatemalan Coffee, Art, Jewelry, Clothes, Textiles, and Fair Trade Products
Order Organic Fair Trade Coffee Via This Link


Email me

Terms of Viewing/Using Material Published or Sold on This Site
Terms of Viewing/Using Material Published or Sold on This Site


October 2013 Index
September 2013 Index
August 2013 Index
July 2013 Index
June 2013 Index
May 2013 Index
April 2013 Index
March 2013 Index
February 2013 Index
January 2013 Index
December 2012 Index
November 2012 Index
October 2012 Index
September 2012 Index
August 2012 Index
July 2012 Index
June 2012 Index
May 2012 Index
April 2012 Index
March 2012 Index
February 2012 Index
January 2012 Index
December 2011 Index
November 2011 Index
October 2011 Index
September 2011 Index
August 2011 Index
July 2011 Index
June 2011 Index
May 2011 Index
April 2011 Index
March 2011 Index
February 2011 Index
January 2011 Index
December 2010 Index
November 2010 Index
October 2010 Index
September 2010 Index
August 2010 Index
July 2010 Index
June 2010 Index
May 2010 Index
April 2010 Index
March 2010 Index
February 2010 Index
January 2010 Index
December 2009 Index
November 2009 Index
October 2009 Index
September 2009 Index
August 2009 Index
July 2009 Index
June 2009 Index
May 2009 Index
April 2009 Index
March 2009 Index
February 2009 Index
January 2009 Index
December 2008 Index
November 2008 Index
October 2008 Index
September 2008 Index
August 2008 Index
July 2008 Index
June 2008 Index
May 2008 Index
April 2008 Index
March 2008 Index
February 2008 Index
January 2008 Index
December 2007 Index
November 2007 Index
October 2007 Index
September 2007 Index
August 2007 Index
July 2007 Index
June 2007 Index
May 2007 Index
April 2007 Index
March 2007 Index
February 2007 Index
January 2007 Index
December 2006 Index
November 2006 Index
October 2006 Index
September 2006 Index
August 2006 Index
July 2006 Index
June 2006 Index
May 2006 Index
April 2006 Index
March 2006 Index
February 2006 Index
January 2006 Index
December 2005 Index
November 2005 Index
October 2005 Index
September 2005 Index
August 2005 Index

Astrology and Outer Edge Articles 2004-2005




Astrology, Spirituality, or Blog friends with the good taste to link to my site:
Astrodynamics
Astrologizing.net
Astrotabletalk
Bill Attride Astrology
Celestial Weather
Clay Uptain - Black Hills Group
Hot Pink Lotus
Living Astrology
Mercury Retrograde
Self In Light
StarsOverWashington
Sue Moon Astro Vibrations


Great Metaphysical Links
These are the best of the best!

Blavatsky Archives.com
Light On The Path
Through the Gates of Gold
The Voice of the Silence
At The Feet of the Master
Occult Chemistry
Crest Jewel of Discrimination

The Stanzas of Dzyan - Cosmogenesis and Anthropogenesis

The Secret Doctrine on Creation, Dharma, and Karma

A Theosophical Library
160 on-line books by Besant, Leadbeater, others

The Sacred Texts Library

The History & Power of Mind

A Huge Library of Ancient Manuscripts and Treatises

« What Is Our Soul Group and How To Forgive Abusive People - Pt. 1 | Main | How We Can Best Deal With The Global Strangeness of The Grand Irrationality in 2010-2011-2012-2013 »

Comments

Kachina

As one subjected to many forms of abuse from childhood and through my early adult years(for I simply replaced one abuser for another),and as one whom has also spent many years seeking to heal from the wounds of said abuse, I am sincerely thankful that you have offered such wise counsel. The biggest obstacle to my personal 'healing' was one of my acceptance of teachings that led to my perception that I had in some way "agreed" to be abused..a true martyr mentality and one that IMO cannot cross the threshold into the quickly forthcoming age hence so many of us now striving to be free of all forms of Victim mentalities.
I hope your wisdom shall reach those that need that little extra 'something' to step up and claim their inherent right to an existence free of abuse.

Beth in San Diego

Thank you Robert for addressing this most important subject and allowing me to make this post. Pattern behavior is very hard to break, however, if we are co-dependent we do have the ability to self-reflect and change our behavior unlike unhealthy narcissists who do not have this ability. Narcissistic pattern behavior is considered by experts to be near impossible to change as the behavior is embedded in the personality. If you cannot self-reflect you cannot analyze your behavior and correct or modify it. While unhealthy narcissism displays itself on a sliding scale, the traits remain the same: arrogant, selfish, lacking empathy, having strong feelings of entitlement, lacking in conscience, having a grandiose false-ego, manipulates others through covert or overt control tactics often resulting in abuse to get what they want; they crave attention whether positive or notorious; and need to be dominant in social settings of all types. Unhealthy narcissists suffer from poor parenting, mainly from an unhealthy narcissistic parent. Some children become co-dependent learning that it is better to please the parent than become like the parent to gain approval(love) which is erroneous but done to survive. It tends to be generational and also cultural. Their lack of empathy is due to their inability to recognize otherness. This internal blindness gives license to abuse others as they feel little guilt in doing so. They have not learned how to develop or deal with shame. It is important to understand the nature of abuse to help free us from the guilt that somehow we deserved it -- that is what is called the abuser's script in our head. The abuser wants others to feel less-than so they may feel superior-to; it is all about a maladapted personality needing attention and asserting dominance to support their grandiose false-self. We must release this energy, turn away from this type person, and tend to our higher authentic Self; there is no judgment, just awareness of being. Forgiveness clears the path. I suggest Erich Fromm's, To Have or To Be and The Art of Being.

Sandy

Dearest Robert, Thank you for your articles. You inspired me to write a poem. It came to me on my morning walk.

No more crying,
No more tears,
Release the suffering from the years,
Rrom the lifetimes
Gathered round the Sun/Son,
They clamor back
To be One,
Perception is restored.

kelly

This seemed like such an unlikely place to find it, but I have found some of the most helpful articles on abuse and abusers here. Thanks again for so much insight.

Beth in San Diego--I am so, so glad that someone is finally speaking out and saying that all this psych-babble about how victims of abusers have somehow asked for it. No. Actually, we haven't. It's all part of the abusers script like you have noted above. How often does an abuser say, "Well, she made me do it. If she wasn't so ______ . . . ?" Answer: Just about any time they are called on the carpet for their bad behavior, they blame their victim.

So why do even some of the most "enlightened" therapists, etc, still continue to blame the victims? They do it all the time. Yes, I made him mistreat me. I asked for it by being too compromising, too forgiving, too willing to try again. That is nothing but keeping a commitment; it's not asking to be abused or hurt.

And Beth, you could not be more right on what makes a narcissist a narcissist. Any time someone expects a narcissist to change or to learn from an experience or to feel any true remorse for harming another, you'll more than likely be disappointed. Does that make it the fault of the victim of the abuse? No. Why would it? They're using "normal" minds to try to relate to an abnormal mind.

I can say this--it has taken me almost twenty years to figure out that so much of it was an act. Even the facial expressions carefully chosen to elicit sympathy on my part. It worked. It almost still does, until I catch myself--"Oh, there it is again. What will happen tomorrow?" And sure enough, the claws are back out.

Seems pretty simple to me, and I'm awfully glad to see Beth's comments on this volatile topic.

Robert's comments about remembering our suffering causing us to suffer are also very good. Detachment is really the only way to deal with this. Now, every time I imagine myself having "one last conversation" with him, I cut myself off: NO! It's never going to happen. I do not need to explain myself, and I won't bother. Onward. Life calls. Healthy friendships call. Real love calls. No more.

The comments to this entry are closed.



Search AquariusPapers.com

Before you comment, please read this:
Guidelines For Commenting

Recent Comments


Terms of Viewing/Using Material Published or Sold on This Site
Terms of Viewing/Using Material Published or Sold on This Site


Artists, Musicians, Writers and Other Eclectic Friends
AceStar Photography
Alan Mesher
Antje Manser Art
Aquila ka Hecate
Bobby Bridger, "Shakespeare of the American West"
Brenda Joy's The Way Out Book
Caroline Beil
Christopher Pellani & Soundformation
Cruelty Free Cartoons
David Amram
Diana's Reflections
Fable Foundation
GodTheMother
Healing Reiki
Jimmy Dunn, Master Mtn Climber and Mineral Specialist
Journeys With Purpose
Judy Carmichael
Judy Croome
Kulaks Woodshed
Love
Matt Shulman
Molly Hale
Newsletter from Lisbon
Ninth's Place
One Magic Dragon
Philipp Manser Yoga
Poetry Hut Blog
Screenwriters With Vision
Turn Left At The Bridge
Uttara Yoga
Vicki Forman
White Granny - Bees!
Your Enchanted Gardener


Progressive Transcultural Groups
Aid To Artisans
Culture of Peace Initiative
Imagine Peace
Maya Color
Network of Spiritual Progressives
Ram Dass - Love, Serve, Remember Foundation
The Borgen Project
Truly Alive


Ending Hunger and Go Organic Links
America's 2nd Harvest
End Hunger.org
Farm Aid
Organic Consumers.org
Oxfam


Environmental Links
Avaaz Global Initiative
Center for Food Safety
Cleantechnica Clean Energy Blog
Climate Science - Roger Pielke Sr.
EarthRights International
Ecosystem Update
Environmental Defense
Environmental News Network
Environmental Working Group
Farm Wars - Protect Family Farms
Intergovernmental Panel On Climate Change
Sacred Passage
Skeptical Science.com
Way of Nature Fellowship
350.org - Reducing CO2


Discover or Report Consumer Ripoffs!
Ripoff Report
Boycott Companies that pay no taxes!
Pay Up Now
Challenge Corporate Personhood!
ReclaimDemocracy.org
Stop the Banksters!
Move Your Money



Political Humor Sites
23-6
Belacqua Jones
Church of the Flying
Spaghetti Monster

Jesus' General
Juanita Jean's
This Modern World


Economics for All
Daily Reckoning
WebOfDebt.com


News Sources and Blogs
ActivistPost
Asia Times
Blacklisted News
Censored News
CommonDreams.org
Consortium News
The Consumerist
Daily Beast
Eschaton by Atrios
FromTheWilderness
Here In Reality
Huffington Post
Media Matters
Nancy's Blog - Starlight News
News Trust
ProPublica - Public Interest News
Reader Supported News
Suburban Guerrilla Susie Madrak
The Raw Story
Tom Dispatch
Transnational Perspectives.org
TruthDig
Truthout
Unknown News
Washington's Blog



Activists and Agitators For Positive Change
Amnesty International
AntiWar.com
Aquila Ka Hecate
Architcts&Engineers for 9-11 Truth
CodePink
Counterpunch
Dark Legacy - Bush Assassinations
Faces of Lawsuit Abuse
Fair Vote - Voting Reform
Firedoglake
Indigenous Grandmothers Council
Investigative Journalist Greg Palast
Liberty For Life
Loose Change (the Movie)
Michael Moore.com
Open Secrets.org
Project Helping Hands
Southern Poverty Law Center
Strike The Root
Think Progress
Tom Flocco.com
Transition Culture
Wellstone Action - Training Progressive Candidates


Net Neutrality and Freedom of Speech
Free Press - Media Reform
Nieman Watchdog
Questions the Press Should Ask

Save The Internet.com


Checking Political Facts
Fact Check.org
Open Secrets.org
Politifact - Sorting out the Truth in Politics


Strictly Political
Citizens for Legit Government
Crooks and Liars
Digby's Hullabaloo
Electric Politics
FiveThirtyEight.com
Head of State - Political Psychology
MoveOn.org
MyDD - Election Analysis
My Left Wing
Open Left
Political Wire
Pollster.com
Project on Gov't Oversight Exposing Corruption
Real Clear Politics - Polls
Roll Call
Sardonicky
War Is A Crime.org



Monitoring Voting Irregularities
BlackBoxVoting
Brad Blog
Movie - Murder, Spies, and Voting Lies
StealBackYourVote.org
Movie - Uncounted
Velvet Revolution
VoteWatch 2004


Spotlight on Human Progress
What the bleep do we know?
A most amazing movie!

Zero Point - Spiritual Science


Certified Authentic Astrology and Divination website


Powered by TypePad