by Robert Wilkinson
After a friend read my recent post on the afterlife Is There A Soul, Is There Life After Death, and What’s On The Other Side? she asked me the title question. What follows is my brief answer.
She wrote me "G_d" loves everyone. Ok. What about evil energy or evil people? Are they loved too? Do we have to love them? How do we have to treat, handle, deal with them? I usually try to keep a distance but sometimes it is not enough? Are compulsive people evil or just wounded?"
I told her I had written a couple of articles about this a while ago which I’ll reprint in the near future. I reminded her that "evil" people have extremely toxic personalities, and that G_D loves them, even though they obviously are not in harmony with the Love-That-Is. And yes, we must love what is, though we may not have anything to do with them.
Here self-love, a.k.a “enlightened self-interest” must be put ahead of "loving them" since they cannot respond in a healthy way. So we love their undemonstrated potential Highest Self while avoiding them so they can't damage us in their delusion. Keeping a distance is healthy.
I believe there are always ways to detach and keep some distance between us and toxic people. So if it’s “not enough,” then it would seem that more detachment is better than any attachment whatsoever. Toxic people always want to ensnare us in their drama. That’s why the best solution to dealing with a toxic person is a lot of distance between the two of you.
Here I’m reminded of the wisdom of the statement that “It only takes one fool to keep a thousand wise ones busy.” We all have the power to stop what we’re doing, and turn our lives in a new direction that is more fulfilling to us than whatever dance we’re doing with toxic people.
Toxic people are always compulsive, but not all compulsive people are toxic. I have found compulsive people can be wonderful or awful, depending on the compulsion. John Lennon was compulsive, but so was Stalin. Gandhi was compulsive, but so was Hitler.
Compulsions may or may not arise from woundedness, and there are many compulsions that are not evil in the toxic sense of the word. We all have compulsions, flaws, and shortcomings. I believe it’s best to tolerate those that are harmless, and focus on eradicating those that are harmful.
So yes, we are part of “all the Love that IS,” including toxic and/or obsessive-compulsive people. But simply because we’re all part of the One Life that IS does not require us to tolerate toxic people.
A little poison corrupts an entire well. Best to keep a healthy distance unless one is an Arhat/Paramahamsa and even then, only if it’s our duty to deal with that toxic individual. And if it’s our duty to be in the presence of a toxic personality, then it seems that distance, detachment, and a sense of one’s own “enlightened self-interest” are much better than getting bogged down with toxic people in their self-generated toxic environment. It’s no surprise that a sewer stinks, but if we don’t have to be there, then why stick around?
There are many things that are impossible to like in our current “reality.” But nothing in that apparent reality should lead us to a non-loving state. And when it comes to learning how to give and receive love, sometimes we have to say no to certain people, things, and behaviors.
© 2014 Robert Wilkinson