A Moment of Silence, Remembrance, and Heart-Felt Compassion

by Robert Wilkinson

A dear friend of the site just lost her 10 year old boy to kidney failure. It happened breathtakingly fast, and gives pause for reflection on how fleeting and precious are our moments here on Earth with our loved ones. As one who knows the profound sorrow of losing one as close to my heart as my own breath, I thought that instead of posting an article on Astrology today we could revisit some things I've written about grief, sorrow, and how to heal the pain of losing a loved one.

As many of you know, January 9 is a sacred day for me, as that is when I lost my daughter many years ago. It took me a long time to come to grips with the healing process and not feel like I was caught in a never-ending storm that shipwrecked me on the shores of a timeless hell. Over time, with perseverance and a lot of love and compassion both from within and without, I did heal this Sacred Wound that I share with countless others across space and time.

There are millions of children who die each year in the US alone, and it is safe to say that there are many millions more who die around the world every year. It can be assumed that this creates at least twice as many adults who grieve the loss as children who die. Thus there are millions upon millions in every country who are carrying the weight of profound sorrow around the death of a child, whether their own or someone close to them.

With this many walking wounded among us, it's easy to see that compassion and understanding are good mindsets to cultivate as we move through our daily affairs since we don't know who of those we meet or pass by are in profound grief. Perhaps if we are mindful that a large number of the strangers we walk among are carrying deep grief and sorrow, we can be more understanding during the inevitable minor frictions and misunderstandings that occur in daily life.

I have no doubt that many friends of this site know someone who has lost a child in some way. I wrote "Love Dad," to provide some guideposts for those navigating the process of healing deep grief, as well as offering tips for those support givers helping people who are dealing with the death of their child, or for that matter, any loved one. That's why today we take a new look at three articles derived from that work, each of which provides a piece of a picture of healing the grief of losing a loved one.

Though some of what is said may seem repetitive, remember that grief comes in waves, cyclically with various levels of intensity. It is said that it is through repetition that we make any material our own, and I've certainly found this to be true when doing grief work. That is why through the practice of the healing process across time we come to true deep peace with this universal human experience.

For your renewed consideration:

Love, Dad - Bereavement, Grief, and Healing After A Significant Death

Coping With Loss and the Grief That Honors A Love

For Those Who Grieve the Loss of A Child

And by all means, take a moment to appreciate and send prayers of gratitude and heart-felt love to those who have pre-deceased you, and prayers of compassion and healing to those who are grieving the death of their child. They are everywhere.

© Copyright 2008 Robert Wilkinson

Comments

[Valerie]

Dear Robert,
I'm very sorry for your friend's loss; kidney failure is as scary and dangerous as a heart attack. And losing a child is worse than your average experience. In recent times I have been learning first-hand about death. I lost my dog in May; I still cry almost every day, thinking I could have done just a little bit more for him. I suppose that is the most common regret- could I have done more for my loved one? I feel guilty all the time. Now my mother is dying of Parkinson's- she sleeps all the time. I suppose this is different from losing someone very suddenly. You are just waiting, waiting and there's not much you can do, except be there and say "I love you" alot. Anyway, these things happen- Forrest Gump's mother said death is a part of life. It's just so hard to bear and takes a long time to heal. And yes, it comes in waves with me.

I really appreciate your articles. They are very helpful and wise.

Blessed are those who mourn for they shall be comforted.

[wild horse running]

Robert...and all who visit your site....a wonderful video on the power of love...a Lion named Christian rasied by two men in London in the late 60's...their "Lion whispering techniques"....no physical violence-force...and their re-uniting in Africa...a year later...it is wonderful.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=adYbFQFXG0U

If the link doesn,t work go to youtube...under "Christian" the Lion-reunion...Tadmanly video.

[Damien]

^omg YES!!! That video is stunning. I first saw it on a myspace link. haha.

[Joanne]

My sympathies are with our friend of the site that lost her child. I understand, having lost my daughter October 30, 2004, just 3 days after her 19th birthdate. I feel her presence whenever I want or need her.

Thanks to Robert for his profound words and help in our times of grief. It's one of the hardest part of the life cycle.

Peace, love, light, and hugs,
Joanne

[giverny]

Prayers and love go out to the fan of this site from myself over here in Australia....grief comes in waves as you say Robert...still i grieve the death of my best friend...guilt always makes me think i could have done more and been a better friend....the lion video is so heartwarming and powerful in bringing joy...i know these children and all loved ones are around us in times of deep sadness...my friend actually wispers in my ear and calls my name....so she is always there..just listen in the still moments...much love and compassion to all...giverny xxx

[Special Needs Mama]

"It is said that it is through repetition that we make any material our own.." Beautiful, and true. Thank you for the tribute and the links, all of which I reread with gratitude.

[Robert]

Hi all - This is one of those times when there's not much more for me to say, other than Aum and peace to all sentient beings. And of course, you're welcome, Special Needs Mama. You're a very brave Soul.