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« It's A Good Day to Be Gardening | Main | Thoughts On Our Soul Group and Forgiving Abusive People - Pt. 2 »


Melody Dawn

Hi Robert,

This is an interesting albeit complicated article on
many, many levels. Two things that stand out to me are 1. evolution 2. concious is everything.
I was born into a family that I am genetically linked too and had some karma with but in no way are they my soul group. All those I found elsewhere and your absolutely right - those based in Love focus on growth and helping each, being there for each and growth. I have found that the same tenet of all those in my soul group when I meet them is looking at any diffculties between us as one of lack of communication and what can we do to solve this issue and move beyond it because being with one another and loving one another is the most important thing. If it isn't then there are many many other ego and dysfunctional issues involved. Those not of your
soul group wish to only continue abuse, thier dysfunction or to try to simulate some kind of intimacy through living on your energies which are usually on a level they'd like to reach but can't and haven't.

Purging karmic pains means going through alot of dark matter on many levels which means we go through karmic people usually of a totally different soul group or ray which are in many ways completely incompatible with oneself and where you need to go.
In doing so we learn our own truth and where we do really resonate. When you have alot of karma with someone who has really harmed you it is difficult and takes time to reach above and beyond that pain and wounding to reach the detachment one needs to heal. Sometimes purging being the only way to get through and transmute it. People who are truly wounded have to pull the wound out by its roots in order to cleanse and close the wound. Alot of people don't understand that. It took me well into my mid life before I began finding people of my own soul group but I had to purge ALOT before I could get there. My only true grace was that my husband/soul group member and soulmate, came into this life and met me very early and walked the path with me to a place of return. Without his twin flame with me I doubt highly I would have healed as much as I have.

Complicated topic Robert -
Melody Dawn

Melody Dawn

Hi again,

I think I've read this article about 10 times now.
The most important part of it for me is this paragraph

"Much is determined by how helpful or hurtful they are toward us this lifetime. Someone who abuses us, even if they are related on some level of "Soul," is jeopardizing the very Soul connection that brought our magnetism together this life. If they indulge abusive actions, feelings, and thoughts it may result in them being part of a much different Soul group and we may never meet them again, in this life or another."

It took me a long time to understand the lesson in that and to not let sentimentality get in my own way and have me make bad choices. Pluto in Virgo in my natal .. this life is about discriminating choices and I do think since Virgo is the virgin it is for me about how to get back to my root resonance so that I could actually find my soul group again and be who I was by weeding out those who have spent lifetimes abusing me and trying to provoke me therefore my own reactions from my wounds led me down the wrong paths for lifetimes and that I had to learn detachment, purge, make the right choices and above all discrimination and discernment of who were really there to help me and love me and who weren't.

Intense article.


Dear Robert, and may I say, Dear Melody!

I was blessed to have been born from Parents who were themselves in search of Wisdom and living a dedicated life. It does not mean there were no harsh lessons to learn, but these came mostly through other people or facts in my life (including genetic people who prooved not to be in the exact same soul group).

Finfing my Husband and twin soul was the most defining moment (it happenned when I had just been over my Uranus opposition, but NOT during it). My PLuto is also in Virgo (9 degrees) - I must be around Melody's age (?) and I, too, feel that much of what moves me is to try and be always AUTHENTIC.

One of the worst problems I have is when I am surrounded by people who are not in the soul group, but who I deal with AS IF THEY WERE, and then get a bit desilusioned. But I think the lessen in that is to STOP EXPECTING and do a sort of KARMA YOGA _ RIGHT ACTION with no regard to any fruits to myself.

One thing is true and not just an intelectual truth, but a "all level truth" from the gut feeling to the higher Monad: the kind of LOVE and FRIENDSHIP we find with FELLOW SOULS IN SEARCH OF WISDOM is of a totally diffrerent king, does not change, does not stop if one happens to be apart for a number of years, and ALWAYS FEELS LIKE COMING HOME. And it makes a lot of sense, for WHAT OTHER FORM OF LOVE COULD BE STRONGER THAN THE ONE OF FELLOW ASPIRANTS?

Well, sorry for the enthusiasm...

Love to all,


Melody Dawn


HI Isabel. Thanks for your post. You made a very valid point in how you worded it

"One of the worst problems I have is when I am surrounded by people who are not in the soul group, but who I deal with AS IF THEY WERE, and then get a bit desilusioned. But I think the lessen in that is to STOP EXPECTING and do a sort of KARMA YOGA _ RIGHT ACTION with no regard to any fruits to myself"

I couldn't have said that better myself because I feel the same way. My Chiron in the 8th is ALL about
dealing with others AS IF THEY WERE and then getting not only disillusioned but it would reopen my Chiron wound and anger. Learning to rise above that has taken me all the way up to NOW. And yes we're probably close in age as my Uranus is 6 degrees Virgo and Pluto is 12 degrees in my 2 house of Values and resources.

One thing I CAN say .. people who are in your soul group are the one's like you expressed. They don't forget you over time and are there for you without question and want only what is BEST for you and it is the LOVE and FRIENDSHIP you share that matters more than ANYTHING ELSE. Those most certainly are the defining markers .. anything less well is something else entirely. :)

Cheers and thanks for sharing what you did



Dear Robert and Melody,
"When you have alot of karma with someone who has really harmed you it is difficult and takes time to reach above and beyond that pain and wounding to reach the detachment one needs to heal." Great observation. I think that continuing to love and forgive yourself and your Karmic nemesis are also key to the process. I had problems with my birth father which re-presented themselves in a relationship last year. This article makes it clear that neither of these persons was part of my soul group; nevertheless, they were here for a reason. But I will continue to love and forgive. Thanks to everyone for your wonderful insights. Namaste

Melody Dawn

Dear Anne Texas,

You bring also a very valid point - one I think needs to be stressed for this topic and that is one has to FORGIVE themselves before they can ever consider giving forgiveness to someone else who has harmed them. There are those though whose only purpose as a ' Nemesis ' in thier deluded minds, is that they need to harm others and make themselves be hated by others in order to justify within themselves a certain level of self loathing and insecurities.

Once you ( the harmed person ) realize this and if you have forgiven yourself for - trusting someone who didn't deserve your trust or having believed someone who obviously did not have your best interests in mind but their own. Then the power that these people stole from you, you take back unto yourself and by forgiving yourself - you free yourself. Irregardless of the one who has done the harm. We can rise above them and their actions and see them for what they really are. They then become insignificant and their actions do too. Hence you've regained your selfempowerment and detachment with your freedom.

Though I do not know that forgiveness for others can always be achieved. I think your detached understanding of what happened and your pity is all that can be arrived at for some people towards thier abusers.

The abusers will continue to abuse others in their lives in some cases trying to make a Cult Dynamic of One because they are in truth slaves to thier own unconciousness and desires no matter what delusions they have of being free or in control will bring about thier own karmic retributions upon them.

In truth, when you can see them for how sad they truly are. Then detachment and healing not only goes hand in hand but comes easy ONLY if you have finally forgiven YOURSELF and set yourself free. I know it was THE most liberating thing I ever did for myself and something we should all be very proud of doing because when you've been harmed it is a HUGE accomplishment. Kudos to you Anne and everyone else who has every had too do the same. Victim conciousness ends when we learn to love and forgive ourselves.

Melody Dawn


I look forward to your writings on abuse and abusive relationships.

To me, abuse is a defense mechanism created for prevention or protection of a close-held illusion.
It's almost never about the person being abused but about the mental state and fulfillment of the abuser. The person being abused is more of a vehicle for the other persons powerful/angry/malevolent manifestations.

Melody Dawn

Dear Robyn,

EXACTLY !!!! :)
Melody Dawn

Melody Dawn

I got so excited over that one I hit enter before I finished LOL sorry ...

Thats why FORGIVENESS MUST START WITH ONESELF. Expecting forgiveness through the abuser is a total waste of time and coming to the point of forgiving them .. well you have to start with understanding, pity for them and acceptance in order to find peace and forgiveness within oneself.

I can only equate forgiveness for the abuser in releasing them to their own fate. Maybe in time that will come to mean more to me .. BUT that's about where I'm at. :) We can though learn to forgive thier higher selves by having our higher selves relay the message to their higher selves and leaving the rest to God.


Melody Dawn

Melody Dawn

A true short story on the Soul Groups topic.

In 1993 - 1994 my life started a deep process of progressed evolution spiritually. A number of holy people came into my life as guiding lights. I also went through a huge beginning process of evolutionary purging but also reintegration of many soul fragments.

I found myself spontaneously moved to suddenly pick up and go to an ashram in India. Had never been to India at the time, left my husband and 2 children in the US and went by myself.

As I landed in Mumbai I got very very ill. I had a raging fever and a total mess. I managed to still make it to my destination at an ashram in Southern India but the trip was, well painfully hard to describe. The first night in the ashram I was staying in a dorm type setting with many other foreign women. There were no walls or rooms and a communal bathroom. There weren't even any beds. I laid my sleeping bag out on the floor shivering with fever, drenched with sweat and simply too weak to do anything other than that.

As I laid there many women came and went and all ignored me except this one young woman from Croatia. She spoke no english at all but for some reason we had no problem communication with body language and smiles.

This woman took care of me for 5 days. Brought me food, water, stayed with me, got me whatever I needed. When I got better I began to teach her a little english and she taught me a little croatian.

I finally managed to ask her WHY ? she just suddenly started taking care of me. She said that 'she knew me and that she could see and sense herself in me and that she could not in anyway watch me suffer.'

I asked her if she expected anything in return and she absolutely refused. She said that ' you have brought me back to myself, I have not given and felt such love in a very long time. '

I pondered this experience for a good many years and I can only say .. with further proof of my experience with others and my husband that that is what it is like to come in contact with your soul group.

It no longer becomes about the individual and everyone benefits from the experience of it.


Melody Dawn


Another fascinating can of worms you have opened for us, Robert! I appreciate your comments since I've been in a variety of karmic relationships which run the gamut... also all the ladies' remarks are very interesting too. Probably the people who you are fond of over a long period of time, and whom you feel a certain rapport with, are members of your soul group. The ones you have problems with probably are too, and they are here to teach you things. I started out feeling very comfortable and familiar with my ex-husband and we became total strangers to each other, after our marriage was over. I'm talking cold as ice. But I still think he is part of my soul group. And tho I don't miss him, I miss my in-laws alot. I could go on conjecturing about this... I am looking forward to your next installment!

Again- fascinating! :)


Melody Dawn- wonderful story about the Croatian woman in India. Unconditional love appears in the strangest places. Talk about a good Samaritan... :)


Dear Melody,

"Once you ( the harmed person ) realize this and if you have forgiven yourself for - trusting someone who didn't deserve your trust or having believed someone who obviously did not have your best interests in mind but their own. Then the power that these people stole from you, you take back unto yourself and by forgiving yourself - you free yourself. Irregardless of the one who has done the harm. We can rise above them and their actions and see them for what they really are..."

From another point of view, betrayal is a 'sacred wound.' If I decide ahead of time whom I can trust, then that involves a judgment. Detachment allowed me to remove myself from a victim's perspective and to realize that I was as much a predator as the other person. "It takes two people to make a seduction," as the saying goes. Only when I saw my part in the process was I able to begin the process of forgiveness of myself and the other person. When the old forms can give way to the new, everyone in the process is blessed.

Great discussion, everyone. Namaste

Melody Dawn

Dear Anne Texas,

I love your perspective ... BUT not all situations are the same. Some times people trust those who should
not be trusted because of ill concieved illusions on our own parts - meaning we COMPRIMISE ourselves in ways that we should not and hence the wound.

When we understand this .. we redefine our boundaries and expectations and see fault where it really lies.
Though we must always take responsibilities for our own actions in a situation .. when one is decieved from the onset .. then our fault is that we misjudged the person, ourselves and the situation. Hence we need to forgive ourselves for our part but that does not exclude the person who did us harm. Thier motives were purely self centered.

IN truth .. our greatest transgression is innocence and sometimes thats not even the case. Rape is not a seduction. Whether psychological, psychically or physically. When one offers love and friendship and the other rapes the person on so many different levels that is not a duo interaction.

When you take what does not belong to you and repeatedly transgress another persons boundaries, respect and life and they enjoy it! and continue to do so inspite of all attempts to get them to stop .. it goes beyond betrayal and the wound needs healing accordingly.

Predatorship belies ownership and entitlement .. not all victims came to the situation with the same mind set or soul interactions/intentions but many are projected upon them which is the classic move of all predators.... i.e. she asked for it, she wanted it, ect. This is the mindset of the Cult Dynamic of One that most if not all predators use on thier victims.

This is a very deep and complicated topic of discussion with many many different views.

But at the heart .. it is the magnetism that needs to be dealt with and erased on a cellular level.

Once the cellular wound is dealt with .. the predator no longer has entry in the persons life and they are free to merge back with those who are more akin to thier own soul vibrations. Healing ensues and evolution continues as it was meant too.

Melody Dawn


Dear Melody,
Points well-taken. Thank you.


Hi Melody - Yes, I figured this was such a deep and complicated issue it deserved a long answer. It got so long it became the article that ate Cleveland, so I split it in two. Then the next dialog with my friend yielded the next article, which got so long it also had to be split. Over time, this may become grist for a book!

The Soul being what it is, either beings bring ours forth as we do theirs, or not. We choose this in each interaction. Some we do have greater connectedness with, if only as a function of prior lives. And never discount that the abusive ones this life only get to know us to learn what we have to teach. If they don't learn, we may never again find ourselves in the same space with them. Even if we're part of a Soul group, perhaps we won't reincarnate together again until after they learn not to be so abusive. Again, hard to call until we're out of the body and can see things with the eyes of infinite compassion, love, and wisdom.

I think sometimes we must demonstrate our level of love, wisdom, and intelligence in action with others here on Earth through all kinds of experiences so we can further distill consciousness out of our direct experience. That way we know what we know, what we do not know, and what we need to learn. Great story of India and the compassion of someone who was moved to a greater expression. And yes, we must heal at the holographic level so that rather than attract/repel abusers, we have no substance with which they can attach at all. When we learn the lesson for good, there is nothing left in us to be in resonance with that which is abusive in that way.

Hi Isabel - We have somewhat similar paths. Though my parents were far from perfect, they gave me what I needed to make my way in the world. While I wish they had been wiser and able to communicate things to me I only learned in the school of hard knocks, I cannot fault them for what they didn't know or couldn't say.

I believe that as we go into life, the more we want to learn and experience the more likely we are to go through things that are unpleasant as well as pleasant. Something about the search for pleasure leads us directly to pain so we can understand the mystery of "life in form." The book "Through the Gates of Gold" examines many things around this. I agree that we do get disillusioned by those who disappoint us, but it's better to be "not illusioned" than "illusioned." Then right action must follow right realization if we are to get out of the morass. And never apologize for your enthusiasm. It's great to feel so strongly about things as worthy as what we're discussing!

Hi AnneTexas - Continuing to love yourself is the only game in town! And forgiveness is the ultimate compassionate detachment. I have also found that forgiveness can only happen when one is no longer being abused. Forgiveness is much different than being a doormat!

As you know, I've discussed several of the "7 Sacred Wounds" in many articles on this site, as I feel these are important markers in our journey to wholeness. Betrayal is one to be sure, though there are different forms of this, such as abandonment, which is its own wound! Moses is a different myth than Samson, in one popular story. Physical violation is also a betrayal that is a "sacred wound" unto itself. While I believe we all have at least one, maybe more, these are what link us to all others across time who also have suffered these things. That is another whole level of "Soul group."

Hi Robyn - You're so right that it's ALWAYS about the abuser. The abused is merely the projection of the illusion. That's why it's good to step back from others' projections and ask if we really need to be there, and if so, why?

Hi Valerie - Yes, I knew this would get people thinking, always a good thing. We're learning from all kinds of beings, some close, some distant, with the dance of life bringing us closer or more distant still. I understand about waking up with a stranger. That's usually about the choice of one or both to become indifferent rather than cultivate the friendship. I had an ex-father in law that I believe could be in my Soul group, even if no one else in the family was! I hope you liked the second part of this one, as well as the next two that continued the theme.

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