Overcoming Heaviness, Depression, and Fear As We Navigate Life Changes

by Robert Wilkinson

Our minds suffering over our own suffering is one of the biggest problems we humans have. Today we take a brief look at how we can transmute difficult feelings that arise, whether from the past or present.

This article is the result of a client wondering about potentially difficult feelings from childhood and early adulthood coming back as a result of an astrological "life scan." This is something that happens after our Progressed Moon conjuncts our natal Sun. The length of the scan is determined by our age.

I won't explain in detail the nuances of what the life scans are about, since that's a huge article and/or a class for students of the craft. That said, generally speaking every so many years we re-feel the process of our life as we've grown from birth to where we're at right now.

Of course, there can be many things that trigger old memories and unresolved internal issues besides a "life scan." While there can be difficult feelings resulting from these unresolved issues originating in earlier years, these are also opportunities to heal our wounds by nurturing ourselves appropriately.

Some are afraid of going back into old feelings and experiences, since many of them are still associated with difficulties from long ago. Still, why should we be afraid of anything? Certainly we should not be afraid to re-feel our life story in ways that we leave unhelpful feelings behind and learn how to take care of ourselves appropriately.

These times of dealing with heaviness and difficult feelings are related to the dance of our Progressed Moon and transiting Saturn, and usually involve our natal Moon and Saturn. While many things can trigger our memory of old experiences, in every case we can come out of heaviness by remembering that as spiritual adults it is our Divine heritage to take command of the vehicle and how we experience our miraculous uniqueness in space-time.

When we are remembering difficult feelings arising from childhood experiences, it is important to remember that we are not experiencing life as we did when we were a child, since by evolutionary necessity we have learned to position our view in non-childlike ways. Our natural innocence gets clothed in personality substance which helps us to adapt to our ever-changing circumstances. Some of these must change over time, since the needs of individuation combined with evolution itself forces us to shift trajectory in the areas that need it.

Often sadness and/or grief is mistaken for "depression." Sadness and grief are a natural part of the human condition. However, a true "depression" means something is being forced down that needs to come up. While life is indeed heavy at times - usually associated with Saturn transits! - these mark points where we must throw off our chains and take responsibility for perfecting our function to express our Higher Self the best we're able.

It's a time when if we feel weak, we must strive to take care of ourselves the best we're able. We do this through being patient, wise, mature, and all the other good Saturn qualities to antidote any patterns leading to weakness, "depression," heaviness, defeatism, and other negative states of mind.

To remind you of something you may already know, these states are fundamentally unreal due to their impermanence. Life is about navigating the ups and downs as we go round and round in our patterns of experience. Change pattern, and the experience changes. Always.

Some of this helps us stay focused on what is real rather than unreal, permanent rather than impermanent. The mind and feelings are inherently restless, and that's why they need to be focused on the higher rather than the lower.

We always have that ability in the here and now, but it must be practiced regularly to create more helpful response patterns. That's also why it's not helpful to go into fear, judgment, comparisons, since each has their own lessons to learn in their own way. Compassion helps both us and others as we learn to direct it toward our own suffering or the suffering we perceive in our external world.

Life can be painful for all kinds of reasons, but we do not have to suffer one instant longer than necessary. Even when we feel hopelessness, defeatism, discouragement, fatigue, and all the other attributes of the mind suffering over its own suffering, we can still turn our minds to better things instantly, changing pattern.

As we change pattern, we change experience. As we change experience, everything can become grist for the mill of Soul. That way eventually we do not suffer as we once did, and can maintain a calm equipoise even in the midst of the worst inner or outer storms. Just one more skill to learn and practice on our Higher Path to becoming Masters of the Wisdom.

© Copyright 2010 Robert Wilkinson

Comments

[SJEJ]

As always, a lovely, timely, constructive, positive, succinct and heartening message. Thanks Robert.

[Beth Deuble]

So timely a message as I just lost my father last month and my mother has been placed in a nursing home. I also have Uranus acting up: Uranus Sextile Med.Coeli this week and Uranus Squaring my moon and Venus. The last two are active through January 2012; Challenging to say the least. My book about unhealthy narcissism and its negative pattern behavior has educated me about my own unhealthy patterns of co-dependency. Not a minute more, is my refrain. Over the last three years I have been cleaning my well as the Yi has suggested. Now, I know why. Thanks for your insight.

[AnneTexas]

Thank you, Robert. Very up-lifting, so to speak.

[reefaroundme]

This most interesting article brings up a transit question I have. Maybe because I'm also in my "life scan." But sometimes transits seem to re-enact things in the natal chart, and it feels important but I don't know what to make of it. Is this also something that calls up the past? Like t. Venus was just conjunct my n. Venus, and square t. Uranus/ Jupiter. I have Venus square Jupiter/Uranus natally. There are def. issues of love and resources and self worth coming up. Would this be a time to get a sense of how those squares are working in my chart (because for example, the usual interpretations of Venus square Uranus haven't seemed to make sense for me until recently, and even then it's much subtler than one would think). I've had this several times lately, like a t. yod hovering over my natal yod made up of the same planets/lights...

[ull]

I have Moon conjunct Saturn - My family has been a heavy burden on me my whole life. As a cancer my nurturing and protecting instincts are very strong - and I was born in a family that doesn´t nurture.. a challenge.

[Robert]

Hi SJEJ - Thanks for your kind words. I "endeavor to persevere...."

Hi Beth - First, my sincere condolences on the loss of your father and your mother's transition. Very difficult, but also very human. Uranus squares challenge us to become more individualized without eccentricity or erratic side moves. Just take your rapidly changing likes and dislikes with a grain of patience and see them as freeing you from obsolete patterns. Cleaning and lining the well is a good thing while preparing for bringing up the clear clean waters in due time.

Hi AnneTexas - You're most welcome. Glad to be elevating for those who want to "lighten up."

Hi reefaroundme - Transits do often bring echoes of past experiences, which may or may not be directly associated with similar transits in the past. All kinds of transits and progressions can bring up similar patterns from the past which show us how we did or did not incorporate those patterns in our subconsciousness. Many roads lead us home. We get Venus returns every year, but depending on the aspects they can bring up all kinds of things. And to note, when there is a transit to transit aspect that is similar to that aspect in our natal chart, it shows us how we are dealing with those energies. A transiting Yod involving similar planets to those in our chart will definitely trigger both our Yod and whatever aspects the transit is making as well. Layers and layers of interlaced activity....

Hi ull - Yes, that can be challenging, but also liberating once you learn not to clutch at chains you don't need. When we decide to self nourish and not accept crushed stone from another it begins a whole new life and world. Perhaps you were born into that family to show them how to feel and live differently. All families nurture, but the trick is what is being nurtured. Are the patterns healthy or harmful (usually some of both!) Are they liberating or enslaving, again often there are a bit of both in any family. But we are not bound to family patterns, even if we are bound to love our loved ones whether they reciprocate or not.

[kaali]

Namaste Robert, another great post. I'm thanking you for this and all your posts.
I just realized what you say having transiting Saturn over my progressed moon. It's a good time to make peace with the past. Painful memories and experiences but all for our spiritual growth.

[Deborah]

Hey Robert, what a wonderful article. Hey Ull I have Saturn Moon too and had the exact same experience in my family. I spent years in self pity victim "why didn't they"..."how could they have"... "couldn't they see" and so many clashes but now I know it was my destiny to be disappointed enough to learn to self nurture, to know that my truth and feelings were okay even though no one in the family validated them. I spent two years in self isolated retreat crying and crying over the aloneness and childhood wounds but now I know it made me a more compassionate person. My Mum and sisters even learned to cry by my example. WOW!!! After the sadness was spent joy came and new light and life. When I self nurture those who nurture turn up on my doorstep. Its a wonderful release. I've learned how to love and be loving, instead of ask for love. There is so much love in nature, that really healed me on my retreat.

[kelly]

Perfectly worded: Sadness and grief being mistaken for depression.

There's a lot of that going around, and Big Pharma couldn't be happier to have so many convinced that their normal feelings, which are signals to the self, are confused with a medical condition.

I'm really enjoying reading your archives, Robert. Thank you for being here.