by Robert Wilkinson
Sorry for the gambling metaphor, but it's true. Some bloodlines just end, for all kinds of reasons. We have been trained since antiquity to believe this is a bad thing, but is it?
We all extend our blood line for the length of our life, but if we choose not to have biological children, or are unable to do so, then our branch of our family tree dies out. While many feel this is something to be regretted, I've come to see a different point of view.
All families have their inherited gifts and problems. There is such a thing as a "family ghost," the echo of many thought forms across generations that have created certain mythologies. Some of these are a shared illusion at best, and very toxic at worst. When a line dies, that part of the "family ghost" dies out as well.
We all hear "family stories" when we are younger. Depending on our birth order, we and our siblings (if we have any) hear very different stories, with some elements similar and other elements seemingly radically different. When we don't have the opportunity to perpetuate those stories, they die as well.
Then there is the blessing of ending learned family traits. Some of these are conscious, some unconscious, but if a line dies out, these die out as well through a lack of a physical mechanism to ground these in the world. Some things just run their course, and must end sometime.
When I was a child and teen, I had many traits I learned from the elders in my family, while other (Soul) traits were at complete variance with those of my parents, grandparents, and uncles. Through a lot of therapy and decades of Spiritual practice, I've learned that some of the behaviors in my family are so toxic that had I continued them, I have no doubt I'd be dead by now.
Some karmas really don't need to be perpetuated, and the Lipika Lords step in to keep us from screwing up any worse than we already are. And yes, I do believe we have several possible times to check out, depending on our choices to grow or stay stuck in hurtful behaviors.
Throughout my life, there were critical points where I realized I was mimicking some very nasty attitudes and behaviors I had learned. In those moments of confronting the negativity that had been coded in my personality, I knew I could choose the high road or the low road, but regardless of which, I knew in those moments that I HAD to choose. And I also knew that my choice would determine many aspects of my future.
When we do take a left or right turn where Fate Street meets Free Will Street on Eternity Boulevard, we often find ourselves crashing into a new reality, a new view, a new direction, and a new sense of self. In those times we confront the possibility of a new "us" being born. This is where the injunction that new wine requires new wineskins is a useful thing to remember.
To put it another way, when we shed a skin we feel our world and ourselves differently. That's when it's easiest to see what of our inherited traits are truly ours, and which are to be eliminated from our lives forever.
Every bloodline has its inherited strengths and weaknesses, its prejudices and positive inclinations. This is somewhat indicative of our "Soul group," those Beings who we incarnate with in various lifetimes. Some high Beings incarnate with a Soul group of not very evolved Beings to offer an example, lessons, and assistance. That's why we feel closer to some family members, while we don't relate to others at all.
But some lives are meant to be where we stop certain tendencies. In each life by our choices we perpetuate some relationships on a Soul level, while others drop away due to the choices others make. As we drop tendencies, we stop our vibrational affinity with some family lines and open vibrational affinity with others.
What we choose to perpetuate and what we choose to cease sets karmas into motion. When we evolve past the family group Soul we were born into, it's a possibility that our branch of the bloodline will end. A bloodline also ends when certain traits have run their evolutionary course and have no more function in the evolution of the individual Spirits or the group Soul of a family.
Then, for whatever reason, there are no offspring to perpetuate those traits. It may be a sad thing from a human point of view, but it may be necessary from a karmic point of view.
That's why even though some family bloodlines continue while others die out, it's important to remember that through it all we ARE a Soul-Spirit, watching the soft parade inside the gold mine. That which is a material, emotional, or mental construct will cease to exist at some point. And yet we will forever BE, to grow into the fullness of our Highest awareness across infinite space and eternal time. That transcends bloodlines, families, and conditional karmas and destinies.
A few things to consider in this time of polarization, separation, deaths, and turning points in the lives of individuals and nations.
Copyright © 2010 Robert Wilkinson
Wow. That's pretty profound, Robert. I need to read it again. And again. Your words hit a chord within; which may be just the point.
Posted by: ScorpioX3 | August 18, 2010 at 06:13 PM
My shaman friend/mentor and I did some shamanic work on my behalf that was ancestral in nature, having to do with clearing a block... very, very interesting stuff. Because I have no children myself (by choice), I was told by my friend while she was in trance/journey that the benefits of this ancestral healing will be fully realized in the first girl child born to one of my three nieces. Wonderful of you to bring this subject to light, Robert... namaste.
Posted by: Siri | August 18, 2010 at 07:21 PM
"This is where the injunction that new wine requires new wineskins is a useful thing to remember."
That's brilliant Robert, what's the source of that aphorism, if you don't mind me asking?
Thanks as always.
Posted by: JP | August 18, 2010 at 08:08 PM
I am impressed, I just finished taking a hot shower and while there I was thinking how every family seems to have that for ever single uncle or aunt and in my family it seems that it will be me. Years ago in a guided visualisation they made us go at our birthday 85. They asked, who is there, who do you see, etc.... Everyone woman in there said they saw their grandchildren, but me.- I didnt visualize anyone of my family. No offspring at all, I tought it was sad at that time until I keep realizing that since I was a little girl I always knew I am the last branch of my family tree. And here I am reading this article finding so much peace with my personal decition.
Namaste
Posted by: mariana | August 18, 2010 at 08:56 PM
Robert, I love this article. Thank you for reminding us again about making conscious choices to grow, and for giving us another way to look at something that so often feels sad.
Another thought on the subject is that sometimes there is something really good to pass on from a family and nobody left in the family to pass it to, but that doesn't mean the trait does not have to live on. In the dance world, for example, there is a strong tradition of passing on philosophies, attitudes, values, and lifestyles as well as technique and choreography, person-to-person, much like a Hindu guru passes wisdom and more to a student through an initiation and years of being together. This, I think, is one example of an alternative way that positive traits can be passed on. Even without help from genetics, psycho/physical/spiritual traits can be transferred in certain traditions, it seems to me.
But still it was good for me to hear that sometimes it's just time for certain traits to die out. Thank you for helping us to let go!
Posted by: Sara | August 18, 2010 at 09:30 PM
"...I've learned that some of the behaviors in my family are so toxic that had I continued them, I have no doubt I'd be dead by now."
My 4th house Aries completely understands.
I don't think I will biologically have any children. My husband and I are 30 and 31, pretty successful but not ready to raise kids. As it is, we see so many children that struggle due to lack of support somewhere. And we've witnessed one of our nieces, adopted from China, who is thriving very much since arriving in the states.
That said, if we do have kids in the future, it will probably be through adoption.
Posted by: Warriorlady | August 18, 2010 at 10:03 PM
Thank You Robert Wilkinson !!!
Very Interesting Insights !!!
Sometimes You go with Family patterns believing that are right and You learn to change them for the better for You but some members keep them even knowing those patterns are wrong really interesting !!!
Blessings !!!
Posted by: Jorge Torres | August 19, 2010 at 12:05 AM
Thank you Robert for sharing this article with us!
Following the path of Light and inner growth is letting go of old habits and old (family)patterns: the old 'bloodlines' so to speak....and this is a continuing story!
Posted by: Ilse | August 19, 2010 at 03:56 AM
Family traditions sometimes die - even though the children are born. The best and the worse. I do like traditions...
I feel that something is changing - but this is a year where my sister had solar eclipse on her birthday (in January) and I had it on mine (in July).
Only time will tell.
I wish the world would be full of diversity.
I think I can live with that.
Even though "part of myself" - ego - dies a little.
And I will be slaved by the "current values".
Dear GrandGrandMother of my child said (died at her 92) that the most important is to be flexible for the Time being. Even though she is relative only by marriage for me - I feel that she gave a great advise for a life.
Posted by: Heli | August 19, 2010 at 07:21 AM
I chose not to have kids because I knew, even in my 20's what problems I'd be creating. I come from a very troubled and dysfunctional family situation. I've had so many issues and confusion in my life that I could see that my bringing people into this world would be a mistake. I've been going "sideways through life" for a while now.
I'm 48, no children and NO REGRETS. At all. One of the few things I'm actually proud of...
Posted by: Aquarius 40 | August 19, 2010 at 08:31 AM
Hi Robert, How would this idea fit in with someone who does not know their 'bloodline' (adoption, etc.). Do they still have the karma of the birth family or do they take on the karma of the adopted family or some of both?
Thanks,
Christine
Posted by: Christine | August 19, 2010 at 08:43 AM
Thank you so much for writing this. It made me feel like there is someone out there who understands how I feel about this. It is hard to explain to others--mostly I don't try. I am in my early 30s, no kids, and my husband and I recently decided to get sterilized. In my case, it was really clear that I felt individuated out of the family group soul and it made no sense at all for me to keep it going (it was clear in my 20s, became crystal clear with my Saturn return). On my husband's side, it was a deeply wise decision to put an end to the very troubling patterns perpetuated in his bloodline. He has worked hard to bring himself out of them-- why knowingly put another soul through that particular mill? The compassionate and wise thing to do was obviously to put an end to a line of patterns that clearly don't work and cause lots and lots of suffering all around.
Giving serious consideration to these issues is a way of being responsible about our creations and our capacity as creators on this plane.
Such a relief to hear someone speak from outside the group mind, especially on this topic. Thanks again.
Posted by: shakti | August 19, 2010 at 11:05 AM
Very well-written Robert!! (as always!)
I completely agree with you as this has been my experience over lifetimes and what i have observed in this life too.
I follow your page and love reading your articles. Thank you so much for enlightening us and sharing so much of yourself with us.
Much love and light,
Preethi
Posted by: Preethi | August 19, 2010 at 11:17 AM
Superb article and too coincidental.... i listened this morning to KPBS local radio on dignity therapy in hospice care: Patient Stephen Letourneux has emphysema. He uses bottled oxygen to help him breathe. Letourneux says after going through dignity therapy, he came to a conclusion.
"Life is basically a series of y's, meaning y's in the road, where you go left or right," Letourneux says. "And that series of y's actually ends up making you who you are."
Been doing genealogy of my family background and have found some startling coincidences of pattern behavior and combinations of nature & nurture. I too chose not to have children as i had a PTSD/unhealthy narcissistic father. After living through the 60s I could not see bringing a child into the world. I also had my reservations about potential pathological behavior. As previously mentioned, I recently published a book on said subject, unhealthy narcissism, releasing it April 6th - unbeknownst to me, my father died April 5th. I had not seen him for 25 years. That energy moved on in both of us. How very ironic. Truly, life is one strange trip. Everyday i witness connections that defy logic -- kinda reassuring in its own way.
Posted by: Beth in San Diego | August 19, 2010 at 12:03 PM
I shudder at the idea of turning crazy and acting on a child the way that my mother does on me.
Posted by: Jennifer | August 19, 2010 at 04:43 PM
I see this partly as an astrological theme.
Maybe this is just a bad TIME to get bigger family (when the south node in cancer).
No time to forget it entirely??
Pluto works at opposite - people may get extreme ideas...
No one has a perfect family. But they my to develop just a little better. Is this a money issue / or value?? (Saturnus libra opposite Jupiter aries)
I have been "fool" maybe in other areas - and paying the dept for those areas. But in time - I believe my family will be having better days (already when south node changes to twins?).
Posted by: Heli | August 19, 2010 at 11:53 PM
A brave and timely article, Robert. I could go on and unpack, but I don't need to, other readers and writers have said it already in different ways.
It is funny though, I knew when I was nine that I wouldn't have children or marry; I could never 'imagine' or create a mental picture. Others don't 'get it' and think I must be in denial, but no, my choice was as much for 'innocents' as it was for me.
It doesn't mean i don't care about kids and their welfare though: I have been a teacher, and worked with victims of crime and homeless youth.
I have always said 'family' is just a word; what is of real importance is the character of individuals and the quality of relationships, not arbitary 'blood' connections.
best to all out there
Dianne M.
Posted by: DianneM | August 20, 2010 at 12:26 AM
Bravo,Robert!!!! You've done an excellent job explaining, in my opinion, some of the most profound experiences in the ascension process. I've been through exactly what you're talking about here. And, I'm so glad that a lot of negative tendencies, and familial legacies have died with me. Though I have yet to procreate, I know that my existence in my family soul group was to help redefine and transmute its course. And, I'm very blessed by that. And, we are all blessed by you!
Namaste,
SunDeevah
Posted by: Sundeevah | August 20, 2010 at 10:03 AM
Thank you Robert, I have watched this happen to a family of four sons who all, consciously or not, have chosen wives with whom, for various reasons, they will not have children. After many years of seeing this as an over-reaction to a dysfunctional family I have come to see the rightness of it, and although it has triggered an intensification of the negative traits of this family, nevertheless it will be a blessed release.
@JP - Wineskins reference is from a parable of Jesus in the New Testament (Luke 5 v 36-39 )
Shanti
Posted by: Morvah | August 23, 2010 at 02:07 AM
yes, good one...!
for a long time i have felt like i wanted to be a blossom and a fruit on the family tree,
rather than just another branch...
To really flower, and then to bear fruit, it seems to me, makes the whole purpose of the tree worthwhile..
so to flower, is to wake up and realize the Divine condition,
and to fruit, is to give that to the world in a way that nourishes others.
It feels to me, that that helps to liberate the whole ancestral line before me.
that's why i have not had kids.
peace
Kit
Posted by: Kit Walker | August 23, 2010 at 07:53 AM
I have had my share of the family ghosts and such. Have put most family members behind me over the years. Because when I become the more authentic me, I cannot be around people who are so dysfunctional. The only ones I have left of my large family is a sister.. With whom I reconciled with last week. I also have three sons to carry on tradition. Though what traditions are left in my family is not much at all. So, I build new traditions.
My father was orphaned at a young age. His family is from Germany, and my fathers bloodline crapped out in the Holocaust. No one to carry on those traditions whatsover.
My Mother had some Native American Blood in her (Shawnee) But, that bloodline crapped out also.
I just pick up the pieces that are worth keeping and move forward.
Posted by: NancyRuth | August 23, 2010 at 11:02 AM
Hi ScorpioX3 - Well, the end of a pattern is a profound thing. Glad you found truth in what was written.
Hi Siri - Yes, some patterns run out while other traits get transferred between beings in the same family line. I believe some family patterns will transfer as long as there is a blood descendant, while others need to die altogether.
Hi JP - As Morvah pointed out, it comes from none other than St. Issa Himself, a man known for saying important things with universal applicability.
Hi mariana - Some of us have children and grandchildren, others adopted children and/or grandchildren. It's great being a grandfather, knowing that the emotional viruses in my bloodline of origin will not infect her. Glad you are at peace with your decision. Mine was more or less "forced" on me via karma, but I'm as happy as I can be anyway.
Hi Sara - Well, I figured since my own life story was difficult and tragic at times, transmuted to understanding and compassion, then maybe it was time to tell another side of the very human coin of existence. You're so right about passing on traits in ways that we can choose who to allow into the energetic field without having to worry about the blowback of the inherited negatives. My own astrological/spiritual work is of course another example of exactly what you speak of. Uranus in Pisces is showing us Divine Law around endings....
Hi Warriorlady - I found a long time ago that just because a person becomes pregnant does not mean there will be an offspring that will outlive their parents. Just too many things can and do "go wrong," if such a thing is possible within Dharma. And yet I was blessed to raise my adopted daughter from age 5 when in my mid-20s, and now am a grandfather. Souls can find each other without the existence of a biological bond.
Hi Jorge - You're most welcome. Yes, it's all up to the individual as to which family patterns will change, and which will perpetuate until karma ends them sometime down the road. Blessings to you as well.
Hi Ilse - You're most welcome. Yes, the embrace of The Path does a lot to end old patterns, and each does it according to their time and need. In my own ancestral bloodline, there is no one on a Spiritual Path except me. And that seems strange to me, but perhaps it's coded into the bloodline not to embrace the Path of Hastened Attainment except through extraordinary intention.
Hi Heli - While I always wanted tradition, my blood line seemed intent on destroying every tradition that preceded them. Not necessarily a bad thing, but it leaves the offspring with not a lot of continuity. Perhaps it's in focus because of the recent Solar Eclipse in Cancer, and as you noted, the South Node is in Cancer, perhaps showing us unfortunate patterns better left behind. And you're so right that even relatives by marriage can transfer wisdom.....
Hi Aquarius 40 - I felt the same way when younger. Got my wish despite my subsequent intentions. Still, as with you, no regrets of any sort. We all get to choose which traits we will not perpetuate no matter what.
Hi Christine - I've always felt that orphans may be the luckiest of all, since they are free to pursue their destiny without the baggage of expectations from those who were willing to give them up to begin with. In mythology, the Orphan is also the King/Queen, so as with Moses, perhaps Orphans can be law-givers to themselves and their worlds unencumbered by bloodline baggage. I believe their Karma is to become the rulers of their world without having to live up to or down from anything. Whatever they get from their adopted parents they are free to embrace or leave behind as they grow into their destiny.
Hi shakti - You're most welcome. It is a hard thing to explain to those who live under "normal" expectations. I have compassion for you and your husband, as I also have had to work hard for decades to stop the emotional viruses still raging in my family of origin. Your line, "Giving serious consideration to these issues is a way of being responsible about our creations and our capacity as creators on this plane" is very thoughtful.
Hi Preethi - Thanks for dropping in and saying such kind things. Glad the articles can bring light into areas where there is much fear, judgment, and superstition.
Hi Beth - He's perfectly illustrating how our inner Saturn works in creating our life destiny. If more examined the problem of narcissism (also known as glamor, a true world problem!) I believe there would be more compassion and less self-absorbed ego issues. And yes, life sometimes doesn't make much sense, but it's a pretty synchronistic trip anyway!
Hi Jennifer - Unfortunately, that's more common than we would like to think. But as you already know the pattern, then it's highly unlikely you would replicate it. Congrats on escaping to whatever degree from the house of mirrors.
Hi DianneM - In sharing our stories we find we're not as alone or unique as we think. Some family issues just go on and on and on.... Some of us knew when younger that with what we were suffering in our family patterns we didn't want children. As I noted earlier, despite changing my tune later on, it was not to be, a blessing given the patterns in my family of origin. And yes, I also have found great fulfillment working with children of all ages over the years, and that the quality of our chosen relationships is of utmost importance, moreso than those we were thrust into by "accident of birth," if such a thing could ever exist on the eternal levels of consciousness.
Hi Sundeevah - Yes, we are where "the buck stops," in terms of certain behavior tendencies. Of course, it's a curious paradox that those of us who have chosen a Path of Hastened Attainment could be just the ones who "should" have children, but that doesn't seem to be the way this impermanent reality with all its suffering works. Thanks for the blessings!
Hi Morvah - Yes, each chooses what they will, and to repeat myself, sometimes it's just not in the cards for an offspring to come, regardless of our intention. And yes, it also triggered some weird stuff in my own family of origin, but that's their problem, not mine. Thanks for tipping off JP to the source of that particular timeless wisdom.
Hi Kit Walker - There are many ways to flower and bear fruit. While my own family of origin does not appreciate what I try to do with my life, there are many who do. We have a heavenly Father and earthly Mother. As we live the Tree of Life, our consciousness ascends the Sephiroth to the heights of awareness and infinite space-time. And of course, the fruits of our labors feed all those who follow us, as their fruits follow those who follow them. That's the hope of humanity.
Hi NancyRuth - Glad you could reconcile with your sister. And may your sons all grow beyond the family ghosts and stories to become as enlightened as they can be. Building new traditions is truly one of the ways we change suffering into awareness. It sounds like you had the privilege to begin a whole new line of stories and consciousness, without ancient baggage intruding. Blessings on that endeavor.
Posted by: Robert | August 23, 2010 at 02:35 PM
fascinating conversation...always felt there were more powerful energies & connections than mere DNA. Have marveled at the numerous examples of those who seem to be created to be parents but could not or chose not - and instead, through life circumstances have mentored and nurtured hundreds of random persons - children, souls, spirits - such a great reminder that every act, word, smile, is an opportunity to touch, encourage, or inspire & heal. Thank you - ryn
Posted by: ryn | August 24, 2010 at 11:05 AM
Thanks for the interesting take you have on blood lines, and having children, or not having children. As you know Robert, from doing a few astrology readings for me, I have been wondering and even stressed on the fact that I do not have children, and always have wanted to have at least one. I'm 40 and have had many long term relationships, which for some reason or another my partners are either snipped, sterile, or absolutely set against having children. I've tried meeting and dating men, who do want children,but either they haven't clicked with me or vice versa. Your theory gives me a new possibility as to why I may never be a parent, and maybe there is a karmic threshold my family, and even I myself have surpassed.
Posted by: lisa | August 31, 2010 at 06:51 PM