Mark Twain on Religion

by Robert Wilkinson

While perusing comments about the dispute between US nuns and the Vatican about the nuns' efforts to help the poor instead of demonize gays and whoever else the former head of the Inquisition feels should be persecuted, I came across 4 great quotes from Mark Twain about religion.

From the Master of Great Wit, "The Lowest Animal":

Man is a Religious Animal. He is the only Religious Animal. He is the only animal that has the True Religion--several of them.

He is the only animal that loves his neighbor as himself and cuts his throat if his theology isn't straight. He has made a graveyard of the globe in trying his honest best to smooth his brother's path to happiness and heaven....

The higher animals have no religion. And we are told that they are going to be left out in the Hereafter. I wonder why? It seems questionable taste.

The Methodist church lost me when it told me as a teen that animals don't go to heaven. That troubled me, since by that time I had learned that animals were mostly kind if not trained otherwise, and absolutely without guile, whereas I had also found that a great many humans were truly unkind if not trained otherwise, and absolutely with guile. That led me to question many things the church taught as absolutes.

Here are three more that seemed spot on:

So much blood has been shed by the Church because of an omission from the Gospel: "Ye shall be indifferent as to what your neighbor's religion is." Not merely tolerant of it, but indifferent to it. Divinity is claimed for many religions; but no religion is great enough or divine enough to add that new law to its code. - from "Mark Twain, a Biography"

We despise all reverences and all the objects of reverence which are outside the pale of our own list of sacred things. And yet, with strange inconsistency, we are shocked when other people despise and defile the things which are holy to us. - from "Following the Equator"

We'll close today with a bit of cheeky irreverence, also from "Following the Equator:"

India has two million gods, and worships them all. In religion all other countries are paupers; India is the only millionaire.

© Copyright 2012 Robert Wilkinson

Comments

[dcu]

Wiser words have never been spoken. In the Vietnam era it was "Kill a Commie for Christ." Now it is "Kill a towelhead for Christ." The Crusaders and Jihadists have one thing in common. There will be a special place in the hereafter for them, very warm. Perhaps they will be required to attend the other camps' religious ceremonies for a while. Now that would be appropriate consequences.
"There is one race, the Human race." - Dr. King

[Micheline]

We are all earthlings! Sesame street song!

[Linda]

Robert, I listen to Awakenings, I must say Thank You.. The clariety the best I've heard from anyone. OMG you're the
best. I am a pisces sun/Cap moon/scorp ascen.. I am feeling this. (LOL) next year Pluto in cap will conj my natal Cap moon. I feel better about all this now..;)

[BK]

Robert et all, most of your readers, including myself, know that the majority of organized religious institutions have been corrupt, co-CON"spirit"ors with the political, corporate, banking and power (plutocrat) elite. Their rein of power in keeping the majority of the human race, subservient and spiritually enslaved is finally coming to an end. Yes!!! Come now the lighting bolts of Uranus, striking their castles and bringing them down. Isn't it AWSUMB to witness the archetypes that are revealing what is playing out at this critical time in humanity's evolution!!! Welcome to the brave new world, my friends and rejoice in the new day dawning. From an Aquarian brother.

[Veronica Norman]

I sent the quotes to a friend. He came back with another from Mr. Twain--"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do rather than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover". Seems an apropo attitude at these intersections of Fate and Free Will.
Peace, Veronica

[Laurel B Bodinus]

All religious fundamentalism is a form of mental illness. Beware those true believers who think they know what GHOD (insert your view here) is thinking! Love you Robert el BB