July 2014 – Joy and Sorrow, Death and Remembrance

by Robert Wilkinson

Again I have been visited by death and profound loss. It seems to be in the air.

In the past 15 months, three beings closer to me than almost anyone else in my world have died. They loved me, they loved being with me, they taught me, they teased me, they trusted me, they made me laugh, and they made me cry. And though we understand that a long life is a great thing, it’s still lousy that all beings have to die sometime.

Yes, Death is lousy, if inevitable. When a loved one dies of disease and/or old age, I have found a peculiar mixture of joy and sorrow arises. Joy that they no longer suffer, sorrow that they’re no longer with us. While we rejoice at the liberation of their Spirit from a body that is too old, feeble, or diseased to be an adequate vehicle any longer, we still miss them when they’re gone.

Whenever we lose a loved one we miss them dearly, even months afterward, including what I call the “living dead.” (No, NOT zombies! We must have a sense of humor when we’re in the death world, or it gets way too heavy…..) The “living dead” are those people we once knew and loved, who somehow along the road chose to separate from us and the love we had/have for them.

While we and they live, the relationship died. And of course, the joy of knowing we’ve moved on is still tempered by the sorrow at having lost a loved one, for whatever reason, or no apparent reason at all.

I once read the words “Life is painful but we do not have to suffer.” I have lived my life by that dictum. Sometimes walking that walk is harder than other times. This seems to be one of those times for millions around the world.

While we expect the old to die, it is an outrage when the young die before the time God gave them to live their lives. All over the world millions are mourning the death of loved ones, whether through starvation or diseases that decimate entire regions, planes shot down, boats sunk, tanks and mortars and bombs blowing bodies to hell, or murderous thugs who forgot the universal, and Golden, rule.

I spent a good deal of my younger days raising money and awareness of the tens of thousands of children who die needlessly every day. I have witnessed the death of more of my friends than I ever imagined. By age 40 I had lost more than most ever know in a lifetime.

And it’s still lousy when someone I love dies. It’s lousy when those I don’t know die. We are all missed by someone who loves us. Joy and sorrow!

I am not afraid of death, having had my dress rehearsal at 33 through a catastrophic accident that took me to the other side and back. That made me a kinder and more compassionate man. But I still take the death of loved ones very personally, even though it is nothing personal. No matter how many times I have to say goodbye, it’s still lousy.

Anyway, that’s my life right now. And as I noted in “Love Dad,” once again the world never missed a beat during this past week. Things had to be taken care of, bills had to be paid, deadlines had to be met.

Once again I have seen how pictures are no substitute for that Being sitting with you, kissing you, loving you, walking between rooms and talking to you. But that again reaffirms a great Truth I learned the hard way: The price of love is grief. Even though they no longer suffer, we miss them. And that hurts.

So take a moment and send a fond thought to a loved one who is gone. Take a moment to send a prayer to someone somewhere, on Earth or in Heaven, thanking them for being in your life, loving you the way they did, and giving you the opportunity to love them the way you did.

We will never walk this road again. Though we may have a thousand lives or more, there will never be another one like you and there will never be another one who can do the things you do, to quote one of America’s dark Bards. And yes, while there will never be another time when you love/loved them the way you do/did love that Being in this life, you will always love them beyond the limits of your imagination.

Unconditional love is like that, and each turn of the wheel helps us grow in demonstrating that greater Love in which we live and have our Being. And the death of a loved one is lousy, and probably always will be, as long as we’re human. I suppose that’s the way life is.

This one's for you. Zabby. Kiss Yuri and Pearl for us. We miss all of you very much. We keep you in our hearts every day. And being in Heaven, you already knew that.

© Copyright 2014 Robert Wilkinson

Comments

[Ilse]

Thank you so much for sharing your deep thoughts.... you certainly know how to put this in the right words!

[Jo Garceau]

Profound blessings, Robert.

[Norm]

Robert, I am so sorry for your loss. May God be with you in this time of mourning.

[Wendy Sichel]

Very moving and true words Bob. I have experienced the loss of both my parents and my brother in the past 20 years and I have worked in end-of-life care for a long time as well (Palliative Care for 8, Hospice for 3). You have managed to capture in words the poignancy and tenderness and humility that arise when grieving the loss of a loved one.

[debbie]

Heartfelt empathy to you Robert.

[Lainie]

Thank you, Robert, and warmest thoughts to you.

[Diane S.]

Robert,
I'm so sorry, for the loss of your Zabby. I wish I could say something to relieve your pain. Reading your words has me reflecting on my losses over the years, both living and dead...and time to honor them. I wouldn't quite be the woman I am had they not been in my life.
Peace & love to you.

[Laura]

Love and light to you and yours dear Robert. May the blessings of our Divine Mother be with you.

[SJ]

Robert,
I am so sorry to hear of your loss. You are so generous in providing us with your wisdom, hope and knowledge. You've created an online community seeking illumination, compassion and insight who try to bring that back to the world they live in every day. We've lost priests, prophets and a structured connection to a spiritual life in this secular age. Your teachings remind me that for me there is no way forward or 'through it' without a spiritual underpinning/understanding. Sending you great love and light in this time of grief.

[Sagars]

"Hard is the world-redeemer’s heavy task;
The world itself becomes his adversary,
Those he would save are his antagonists:
This world is in love with its own ignorance,
Its darkness turns away from the saviour light,
It gives the cross in payment for the crown.
His work is a trickle of splendour in a long night;
He sees the long march of Time, the little won;
A few are saved, the rest strive on and fail:
A Sun has passed, on earth Night’s shadow falls.
Yes, there are happy ways near to God’s sun;
But few are they who tread the sunlit path;
Only the pure in soul can walk in light.
An exit is shown, a road of hard escape
From the sorrow and the darkness and the chain;
But how shall a few escaped release the world?
The human mass lingers beneath the yoke.
Escape, however high, redeems not life,
Life that is left behind on a fallen earth.
Escape cannot uplift the abandoned race
Or bring to it victory and the reign of God.
A greater power must come, a larger light.
Although Light grows on earth and Night recedes,
Yet till the evil is slain in its own home
And Light invades the world’s inconscient base
And perished has the adversary Force,
.
He still must labour on, his work half done.
One yet may come armoured, invincible;
His will immobile meets the mobile hour;
The world’s blows cannot bend that victor head;
Calm and sure are his steps in the growing Night;
The goal recedes, he hurries not his pace,
He turns not to high voices in the night;
He asks no aid from the inferior gods;
His eyes are fixed on his immutable aim.
Man turns aside or chooses easier paths;
He keeps to the one high and difficult road
That sole can climb to the Eternal’s peaks;
The ineffable planes already have felt his tread;
He has made heaven and earth his instruments,
But the limits fall from him of earth and heaven;
Their law he transcends but uses as his means.
He has seized life’s hands, he has mastered his own heart.
The feints of Nature mislead not his sight,
Inflexible his look towards Truth’s far end;
Fate’s deaf resistance cannot break his will.
In the dreadful passages, the fatal paths,
Invulnerable his soul, his heart unslain,
He lives through the opposition of earth’s Powers
And Nature’s ambushes and the world’s attacks.
His spirit’s stature transcending pain and bliss,
He fronts evil and good with calm and equal eyes.
He too must grapple with the riddling Sphinx
And plunge into her long obscurity.
He has broken into the Inconscient’s depths
That veil themselves even from their own regard:
He has seen God’s slumber shape these magic worlds.
He has watched the dumb God fashioning Matter’s frame,
Dreaming the dreams of its unknowing sleep,
And watched the unconscious Force that built the stars.
He has learned the Inconscient’s workings and its law,
Its incoherent thoughts and rigid acts,
.
Its hazard wastes of impulse and idea,
The chaos of its mechanic frequencies,
Its random calls, its whispers falsely true,
Misleaders of the hooded listening soul.
All things come to its ear but nothing abides;
All rose from the silence, all goes back to its hush.
Its somnolence founded the universe,
Its obscure waking makes the world seem vain.
Arisen from Nothingness and towards Nothingness turned,
Its dark and potent nescience was earth’s start;
It is the waste stuff from which all was made;
Into its deeps creation can collapse.
Its opposition clogs the march of the soul,
It is the mother of our ignorance.
He must call light into its dark abysms,
Else never can Truth conquer Matter’s sleep
And all earth look into the eyes of God.
All things obscure his knowledge must relume,
All things perverse his power must unknot:
He must pass to the other shore of falsehood’s sea,
He must enter the world’s dark to bring there light.
The heart of evil must be bared to his eyes,
He must learn its cosmic dark necessity,
Its right and its dire roots in Nature’s soil.
He must know the thought that moves the demon act
And justifies the Titan’s erring pride
And the falsehood lurking in earth’s crooked dreams:
He must enter the eternity of Night
And know God’s darkness as he knows his Sun.
For this he must go down into the pit,
For this he must invade the dolorous Vasts.
Imperishable and wise and infinite,
He still must travel Hell the world to save.
Into the eternal Light he shall emerge
On borders of the meeting of all worlds;
There on the verge of Nature’s summit steps
.
The secret Law of each thing is fulfilled,
All contraries heal their long dissidence.
There meet and clasp the eternal opposites,
There pain becomes a violent fiery joy;
Evil turns back to its original good,
And sorrow lies upon the breasts of Bliss:
She has learned to weep glad tears of happiness;
Her gaze is charged with a wistful ecstasy.
Then shall be ended here the Law of Pain.
Earth shall be made a home of Heaven’s light,
A seer heaven-born shall lodge in human breasts;
The superconscient beam shall touch men’s eyes
And the truth-conscious world come down to earth
Invading Matter with the Spirit’s ray,
Awaking its silence to immortal thoughts,
Awaking the dumb heart to the living Word.
This mortal life shall house Eternity’s bliss,
The body’s self taste immortality.
Then shall the world-redeemer’s task be done."

[Sagars]

“Till then must life carry its seed of death
And sorrow’s plaint be heard in the slow Night.
O mortal, bear this great world’s law of pain,
In thy hard passage through a suffering world
Lean for thy soul’s support on Heaven’s strength,
Turn towards high Truth, aspire to love and peace.
A little bliss is lent thee from above,
A touch divine upon thy human days.
Make of thy daily way a pilgrimage,
For through small joys and griefs thou mov’st towards God."

[Micheline]

Aww Robert I feel I understand. Sending healing vibes your way!
Rememberance is important!

[Teresa detrich]

I'm so sory for your losses. I have read your posts for many years, but only recently have understood your messages, due largely to the maturation of my soul. I have suffered the great loss of my husband's companionship after 36 years of marriage, due to his mental illness. Your messages have been of great comfort to me over the last year. I hope my message to you provides you with some comfort. Thanks for sharing your wisdom.

[Terry]

Am so sorry Robert to hear of your loss... hope your cherished memories provide comfort during this time of transition from the all too short physical connections to the eternal heart connections that are not bound by space and time.

[dcu]

Om Nam Shiva

[Golden Hawk]

Robert, I am so sorry for your loss - i completely understand as i too have just witnessed my beloved cat Dakini transition 3 days ago - and i totally resonate with your awareness of the joy as well as the sorrow that arises inside of me - death itself is not the bad guy though it feels bad - experiencing a wonderful connection with a sentient being that is authentic, rich and deeply personal that is a joy that cannot be compared to anything and what i will miss the most from my life with her. i know during this sensitive time there is something deeper stirring within us - something vulnerable i cant put my finger on - i feel it has something to do with our souls and our eternal experience. wishing peace and acceptance for you and your family Robert and remember when it is our time to depart - all of our beloved ones will be there to greet us once again.

[Kim]

Deeply felt sympathy for you and your family and friends. Watching those who we love pass is a hard, difficult place to be. Knowing they have entered the next phase of their journey sometimes makes that pain easier. xx

[Nic]

My heart goes out to yours. We have been soul mates and have has some parallel experiences this time around. As a wise man wrote in a book: sometimes all you can do is breath and love.
You know we never truly walk alone and that those that seem to have gone have not.
Blessings be brother,
Nic