by Robert Wilkinson
As you know, I’m a huge fan of Darlene Love and her delivery of Christmas songs. Today we have a very funny obscurity courtesy of SNL!
Back in 2005, 4 Saturday Night Live writers got together and wrote one of the funnier Christmas songs ever done. In previous years I couldn’t find the clip, but this year I got lucky! For your amazement and amusement, Darlene Love singing to the animated “Christmastime for the Jews!” (And I even found the lyrics!)
“Christmastime for the Jews”
by Robert Smigel, Matt O’Brien, Eric Drysdale, Julie Klausner, SNL, December 2005
On Christmas eve the Gentiles gather ‘round the Christmas tree.
They stay at home and party with their goyishe family.
They disappear one day each year and pass the eggnog ‘round,
but it’s all right, ‘cause that’s the night the Jews control the town.
Well it happens every year on Christmas eve.
All the happy Christian people take their leave.
Yeah, the streets are deserted and that’s big news:
It’s Christmastime for the Jews.
Yeah, the Holiday party starts ‘bout 6 PM.
Ain’t nobody recreating Bethlehem
Yeah, the three wise men, that’s a big old snooze.
Christmastime for the Jews.
They can finally see King Kong without waiting in line.
They can eat in Chinatown and drink their sweetest wine.
They can crank Barbara Streisand on the streets they cruise.
Christmastime for the Jews.
They can gang up on the Quakers, play for the Lakers,
they can do what they wanna, even Vogue Madonna.
Get a chance to drive a tractor, win on Fear Factor,
See Fiddler on the Roof with actual Jewish actors…
Now they really get the party going after dark,
Circumcising grateful squirrels in the city park,
Picking fights in the bars, knowing they can’t lose.
Christmastime for the Jews.
Now it’s nearly 10:30. Yes, it’s time for bed,
Daily Show reruns dancing in their heads.
Maybe next year they’ll learn how to hold their booze.
Christmastime for the Jews.
Have some water
Christmastime for the Jews.
Don’t get sick now.
Christmastime for the Jews.
Sleep it off, yeah.
Song © Copyright 2005 SNL
Article © Copyright 2014 Robert Wilkinson
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