Astrology Class - Marriage, Astrology, Psychology, and Chart Contacts Pt. 2

by Robert Wilkinson

We began our examination of this topic yesterday by looking at astrological factors in marriage, including how the 1st and 7th houses play out in our relationships, and other houses affecting second and third marriages. Today we look at why we’re attracted to the people we are, and how relationships can be a projection of what we believe we’re looking for, or a compensation for what we haven’t known.

As I told you yesterday, this topic came about as a result of some comments I posted over at the KISS FB astrology group site related to the subject of marriage indicators in a chart, and some psychological factors in who we choose for a partner and why. If you want my take on the astrological factors in marriage, then please reference part one of this series. Today we’ll explore some psychological factors in partnership choices.

As I offered in part 1, since it’s true that more people are marrying more times in a life than ever before, then the question is how does astrology fit into the psychology of multiple marriages? The answer is found in our evolving expression of our inner planetary patterns.

As I explained a few weeks ago, “planets are people.” The various planets in our chart externalize as the people in our lives, which is why when we outgrow one form of Saturn expression, we move on to the next level of learning about that expression.

Why a person plays out as our Moon, or Saturn, or Sun, is part of the Mystery of our unfolding Self-realization. By our attraction we come to know ourselves, and by seeing what others value, we understand the evolving dance.

We work out how our planets manifest through our choices in the outer world. While we have our inner response to our planets, we also project them out into our world. And like the proverbial stone thrown into the pond, once the ripples hit the edge of the field, they inevitably return to center. That’s why we should choose carefully how we want to externalize our various planetary functions.

All our relationships fulfill certain planetary positions and patterns in our charts. As we move from relationship to relationship, our journey is showing us how we invited that energy into our lives, and what motivated that attraction. Those who embrace that adventure of discovery ultimately find the gift of objectivity.

From my psychological studies and observations, as well as my direct experience, I believe that our first marriage is usually a hope and a dream involving a lot of projection of images (conscious and unconscious) based in cultural expectations learned from our social matrix. I have also observed that a second marriage is a reaction to, and compensation for, what was and was not fulfilled in the first. The trick is to observe that which moves us toward or away from "the other," and the tiny self-redefinitions we do as a marriage develops.

In my own experience, I was totally unconscious in choosing my first wife. After a rude awakening some months down the road, it was clear that we didn’t speak the same language, didn’t have the same hopes and dreams, and there was no putting Humpty Dumpty back together again, since our value systems diverged with no possibility of ever coming back into harmony.

After a period of reflection, I chose my next marriage for all the right reasons. Still, there were similarities between my first wife and my second wife, both astrologically and other ways, that made it clear this was a related type of energy. The second fulfilled everything I never dreamed of in the first, but after some years, due to forces beyond our control, we parted.

It was only after looking back at every wife and girlfriend I ever had that I began to note patterns. Some were healthy, some were unhealthy. Then I chose to change many patterns, consciously refusing the old tendencies, and was willing to “sit with the emptiness” until my energetic field was cleared.

That ultimately led me to entirely new types of relationships. Those people looked differently, thought differently, and behaved differently than those I had been with before.

Then those potentials played themselves out, and I found myself again examining my relationship patterns to see what needed to change and what didn’t. Over time, my choices have brought me to where I’m at right now.

As inner patterns fulfill themselves, we choose to perpetuate them or not, and whether we’re aware of this or not, move in new directions as new people and experiences present themselves in our Hero’s Journey. In the final analysis, we have to take responsibility for what we choose, whether actively or passively, and why we chose to play out certain patterns.

Once we stop projecting our wants and needs on to others, and examine why we believe we want something and what purpose that serves, then we can begin to step back from unconscious patterns and begin to craft “the art of our life.” When we realize what has been fulfilled, whether good, bad, or ugly, then we can shift to a new way of seeing the best potential.

Here we cannot afford to get stuck in comfortable assumptions. As our lives and relationships evolve, neither we nor others are the same people as we were back when we met. As a Great One once wrote, “The Moving Finger writes, and having writ, moves on: nor all thy piety nor wit shall lure it back to cancel half a line, nor all thy tears wash out a word of it.” That’s why there’s no point in going certain places, and no point in saying certain things, even when we’re right and it’s true.

By observing “that which moves and that which doesn’t,” we can come to know whether we and/or they are operating from unconscious patterns of need, desire, or projections. Of course, not all projections are unhealthy, since the greatest love story on Earth is still a movie that must be played out by the lovers on the stage of Life and appreciated by those who watch and applaud in the theater of Life!

If both in a marriage choose to individuate AND choose to craft an ongoing friendship, then I believe a second (or even third) marriage can succeed in great style. And whenever the friendship ceases, usually it's replaced by indifference, which is a deal breaker in a marriage. For more on how to cultivate the best in your relationships, please reference my article on “Some Thoughts About Relationships and Friendships.”

On a final astrological note, by our planetary contacts with others, we become an expression of that Divine Force in their life, and they ours. In becoming that, and witnessing that, we are being led to embrace our Spiritual Self.

Any planetary contact can bring pleasure or pain, bondage or freedom, upheaval or temporary stability, chaos or order. Since life is but a dream, and we’re all flowing through the Neptune in Pisces dreamscape, we’re all experiencing a sense of the unreality of our worldly experiences. Allow yourselves to examine the patterns, and how you’ve steered your “ship of personality” from one type of relationships to other types of relationships.

As you see which patterns have moved you between pleasure and suffering, you will come out of being moved by unconscious imagery and have more of a sense of your power to choose your responses to relationship in a conscious way. Then you’re no longer unconsciously accepting others’ projections, nor seeking fulfillment in outer forms. You will be living your Eternal God-Self, which is the eternal state of Being.

Copyright © 2015 Robert Wilkinson

Comments

[Robert]

Hi all - So that it doesn't get lost slip slidin' away on the FB page, here was my intro there. Hopefully it'll bring a smile as you tiptoe through the past. This can help us identify (to paraphrase Arlo) pro-jections, in-spections, dee-tections, see-lections, nee-glections, ree-jections, and all that other stuff that happens along the way. "Life is but a dream, sweetheart, sh-boom, sh-boom, sh-boom ..."

[helina]

Thank you for open up. Nice subject, anyway :)

I have read that 1st companion presents 7th house, 2nd 9th house and 3rd 11th house....
Right?

Or maybe I have stuck at my Gemini Saturn in 9th house... (Of course only until I'll find the right friendship and love.) Independence is compelling from time to time anyhow.