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What if your twin flame is a chronic alcoholic in an abusive relationship with someone else, would that be reason for separation and/or inability to recognize someone as a twin flame? I believe I have found mine but the circumstances are...bad. If someone is your twin flame, do you "just know" what their subconscious intentions are? i.e. I think mine is back with an abusive ex to get past that relationship so we can eventually be together without encumbrance but it is hard to trust my own perceptions and I am not sure he really sees it that way - I think he thinks he's "working things out" with her, but she is extremely manipulative and I'm hoping with the current astrological arrangement that he finally sees her for what she is...I think he is subconsciously "planning" that, but consciously seeing it another way. He has left her twice in the last 8 months but she won't let him go. I suppose i sound crazy.... :)


So, if I get what you are saying Robert, if your Twin Flame manifests you are operating from your Highest Self, and heart's desire, even if you are not in a primary relationship with your twin?

"Perfect manifestation" means to meet consciously and since you are already one there is nothing further to prove?

Should one be happy meeting one's twin flame even if circumstances make it difficult or impossible to be or work together? Ego limitations.

"there would be an attraction forever that would never leave the consciousness."

That may be the ultimate manifestation to resolve whatever is blocking being together. Twin Flames co-creating can only benefit the world. John Lennon & Yoko Ono? Imagine.

As you say "if you met you couldn't imagine anyone else under any circumstance".

The corollary must be to create the circumstances where you are together. That's why you met to do the impossible.

Thanks for the article!

Ale tarallo

Dear Robert. Your post sheds much light on the retrograde too, considering it's in the sign of the twins, a sign esoterically ruled by Venus. Thank you!


Thank you, Robert. I like the empowering idea of working on oneself first, on the Higher Self, and not expecting a dreamy twin flame to arrive and save one from the drudgery of ordinary life.

What about the role of astrology in finding your twin flame? Are there certain qualities to spot between another's birth chart and your own? Any aspects? Critical points?


Dear Sheila, when I read your words, I feel like it's my old self talking. You're not crazy, you're a conscious, sensitive, loving person. But you need to switch your perspective from there, back to your own center. Don't waste your energy trying to figure things out for him, thinking on behalf of him. Instead, be in that place where you are your own perfect complete self. Let him travel his journey, and keep walking your own magical journey towards unity. There is no other reason for him being with another one than you, other than his own choice. His abuse of alcohol or drugs can not be an excuse for you to hang in there. It's hard to let go but it will be the best thing you'll ever have done in your life. And then you will be a flame ready to meet your other flame. It doesn't matter who that flame is. Who knows if it will be a recovering alcoholic or someone who is growing out of an abusive relationship. Love is not wasted I believe.


There's a good book about Twin flames: Divine Intervention II, which explains twin flame cycles of connection and separation. I am currently experiencing this with my TF. Astrologically, we have our nodal axes almost exactly square to each other, and his Mars is EXACTLY squaring my MC/IC. I'm sure there are other exact aspects, but I don't know his Asc/angles, and am just an amateur in this art.
I didn't know much about TFs and didn't particularly care, figuring that it is best to always just "love the one you're with." I have been meditating and doing simple visualizations of love at night before sleep.
Don't get stressed out. If it's meant to happen, it will. Concentrate on loving yourself and others unconditionally, and yr TF will manifest.


Thank you Umay, I know you are right...there is a lot more history than i made clear. He is an ex from 20 years ago, we almost re-connected in 2010, but he very suddenly began the relationship with the abusive woman at that time & I missed my chance. She kicked him out last year and I got pulled in, unaware. He was happy to put her behind him last fall, told her it was over but she's nuts & they're essentially addicted to each other but there's nothing more I can do at this point, he moved back in with her just last month. Its long distance too, 1000km. So I do need to let go, you are right. I am hoping the astrology is working for us though and he breaks free by fall. I do think he wants to. :) Thank you for your kind words.


Also, he is a Sagittarius (& its also his ascendant - I'm pisces/pisces rising) so I hope Saturn in Sagittarius & Neptune in Pisces might work in our favour. She's a Cancer. Astrologically & literally. ;)


Robert, this is a Great article, some weeks ago I found Your il article about twin flames. During the last Mercury retrograde I think I met my twin flame. He appeared when at least I expected. When he came to talk to me I was very desperate because of another man. I broke with him. I read something like that twin flames meet often when one of them has a difficult time. What do you think about it? And what do you think of the meeting during mercury retrograde? He has mercury retrograde and I have a strong contact with his mercury. There are many other signs of karmic connections. He is married and I keep being serene because I am sure of our higher connection. It will be his choice..
As always, thank you, Robert for your insights and your wonderful manner of writing. Waiting for part 2 😊


I just checked our birth charts...I have mercury in Pisces, as well as sun, moon and Chiron. He has mercury in Sag and also has Chiron in Pisces and we both have Saturn in Aries, neptune in Scorpio and Pluto in Virgo...not sure if any of that is significant in any way.


From personal experience, if a person hasn't had a psychic awakening and hasn't been triggered to do something great and helpful to the world, then that person hasn't met their twinflame.


Remember reading this a few years ago. Great to read again, like a refresher, more wise, and different perspective. Appreciate.


Hi all - I know there are questions I haven't answered. Will get to them during the next few days. Until then, part two just posted.


Hi Sheila - The person you describe probably isn't your TF, since the moment you met he could not imagine hurting you or making you feel badly. Even if he were a complete toad, he would never harm you, rip you off, or make you feel slimed. Even if your TF were with someone else, he would never be unkind to you, and would always regard you as a friend he could trust. To note, "he has left her twice... but she won't let him go?" Your TF would turn in a heartbeat away from her and go straight to you, if only as a trusted friend. You could never "miss your chance," since you would be friends for life, even if married to others.

Hi Andrew - Yes, the highest Self you're able, and your TF would bring out the best in you without manipulation. You may or may not be able to have a "primary relationship" with that person if one or both are married, but you would always be true friends and have genuine goodwill toward each other, even when apart. And if may also be that one or both are you have problems that could damage the relationship between your personalities, and you may have to part for the greater good. But even if that happened, you'd at some point find your way back to the friendship or more. And yes, if you hold the light of the flame of your heart, eventually the Other will see that light and commune with it, since you are One Light Together.

Hi Ale - Glad you found some useful insights! And of course, more retrograde articles already on the way! You're most welcome.

Hi Maria - Well, if one of the TF were in a bad situation, the other TF would of course feel compassion and want to "help" their TF to overcome the difficulty. But they would also know that a person must "carry their own water," since our Highest Self is not dependent on someone else to help them out of difficulty (even if sometimes that help is karmically justified.) I believe the timing is always built into the chart, but that there are no set configurations that indicate a TF. That said, of course there would be harmonious aspects, as well as frictional ones. They're our complement, not identical.

Hi Umay - Thanks for your words of encouragement. And yes, we all must take responsibility for our behavior and choices. Our TF doesn't have to indulge our lower self, especially in destructive behaviors. I have found that healthy relationships simply witness what is going on, and point it out as gently and lovingly as possible, leaving the conscience of the other to feel their way to a better place. And you're absolutely right that "love is never wasted." It just grows and grows.

Hi Diana - I checked out the other link you left and read what that other guy wrote, and absolutely disagree with his take for too many reasons to go into here, except a) conflict is NO indicator of meeting or being with your TF, and b) oppositions and squares exist between most charts, so that too is also too general an indicator, as is his notion of Venus RX people somehow blessed to be doing that more than others, which I have not found in any of the healthy couples I've known these many decades. I haven't checked out Divine Intervention, but once connected with your TF you would never be apart. Impossible. Your hearts would be completely at peace and fulfilled in the love you share.

Hi adriana - You could meet under difficult circumstances, you could meet under favorable ones. Meeting under Mercury RX seems perfectly natural to me. And of course one or both of you could have that in your charts. That might show a reconnection that would take time to develop through twists and turns and finally find yourselves both single and into it. You're most welcome.

Hi steve - I suspect there's a lot of truth in what you wrote. I believe that TFs "pray at the same altar," or at least have a total spiritual compatibility. And since the TF is the divine Reunion, then it would seem that both would be on a path to some sort of higher discipline of self realization and/or spiritual service to their worlds (even if it were entirely different ways).

Hi nancy - Glad to offer it again.


Thank you Robert..I will take that into consideration but there is a lot more to the story. At least I know she is not his TF, she is physically & emotionally abusive. He's the victim, she's the perp and I came in as the rescuer but became a victim so I had to step away from it & he made me step away. We both know he has to free himself from his addictions, I can't do it for him. Could his addiction not be getting in the way? He has told me he'd never hurt me and never has hurt me intentionally nor slimed me when he was acting consciously/not drinking. He doesn't lie to me, he lies to himself. He was sober for the second time in his life this year when we were together in Feb/March. He's always tried to protect me from his "stuff". When we separated 20 years ago, I was crushed but the circumstances at the time made it impossible to be together. I asked him back then if he just didn't want to be with me (i.e. if it was about me) or if he just wasn't ready and he said (in his far-off voice which tells me he is speaking from his unconscious) "no, its not you...maybe when I'm 45 I'll be ready". He was 45 when we re-connected last year. He also told me recently what he was up to back then and said he kept me away from his lifestyle to protect me. He's turned from her 5-6 times since last September and come to me. We've been apart for 2 months now and I sense that he needs to break free from the spell she has him under, which is maintained thru alcohol, jealousy, guilt, and every other possible emotional abuse you can think of. She (and his addiction) isolated him over the past 4 years, we lost contact. He's been beaten down. We're still in contact and he said recently he's gone 7 days (and then some) with no alcohol, so he is ornery and said he'd call again when he's not. Thank you for your response...I am going to hold out hope. I think he'll be back for good by fall, if not sooner. In the meantime we both have a lot of "stuff" to work on. :)

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