Astrological Solutions to Relationship Problems

by Robert Wilkinson

There is no problem in a human life that cannot be solved using spiritual or astrological solutions. The timing on what to do and when to do it is crucial if we are to avoid crashing up against each other’s biases and attitudes. This is why astrology can be used very successfully to resolve differences, if both are open to finding a way beyond conflict.

I last gave this to you 6 years ago, and have rewritten it for readability and to flesh out some concepts. As the pressure to break through to our Oneness increases in our world, it’s pushing a lot of personal buttons, and this seems to be impacting relationships. So let’s take a look at how astrology can help us navigate interpersonal crosscurrents.

In our world, we are unfortunately put under a lot of pressures that are difficult, and some attempt to relieve those emotional pressures by being unkind to others, including their loved ones. Obviously, this is not a satisfactory way to maintain and preserve healthy intimate relationships, as being unkind creates more problems and hard feelings. Here it’s useful to remember that we cannot “unsay” something, so it’s better to be circumspect before we destroy a relationship by thoughtless words.

Difficult feelings must be dealt with in productive ways if we don't want our relationships to crash. Today we’ll explore some productive ways to deal with conflicts that arise between us and others.

As part of any astrological approach to solving interpersonal problems, I believe that an attitude of loving-kindness and a willingness to be reasonable is essential if we are to meet our "opponent" somewhere between where they stand and where we stand. We must be willing, as Gandhi asserted, to “thrash things out to the uttermost” to find the common ground with those who oppose us, or seem to oppose us.

If we are willing to set aside our hostility and still be firm in our integrity and what we stand for spiritually, we become an agent of a greater spiritual power. As we tap into that power, we are able to transcend all the temporary forms of suffering caused by our own or others’ attachments, aversions, illusions, and habits of acting, thinking, and feeling which perpetuate conflict.

It has been said that “marriage is not for the weak, the selfish, or the insecure.” Each of these will inevitably create problems in any relationship, as will the universal human problem of people expecting things of another they would not want expected of them. This is where Libra, the sign of relationships, is essential in understanding we must be balanced and reasonable when relating to others.

Every part of the life is governed by an astrological sign, regardless of which type of astrology one uses. In Western Astrology, as well as Vedic Astrology, each sign is in conflict with three other signs, as well as in harmony with four others, thus yielding insights into the causes of disputes as well as ways to resolve them. We can use signs in conflict to blunt the causes of problems, and signs in harmony to understand and overcome those problems.

These complex relationships between areas of our lives show us why so many things create conflict in this world, and also how we can find a way beyond the conflicts. Conflicts arise due to the fact that various signs are not in harmony with others, indicating that some areas of life do not interact easily with others. This can create imbalances between us and others, as well as us and circumstances.

Any imbalance between us and others requires a spirit of friendly cooperation if we would transcend the source of conflict, since no one wants to be disadvantaged in life’s negotiations. And of course, if we don’t have a friendly relationship with another, then the differences can become more of a problem than they need to be.

Here a healthy respect for ourselves and others, especially our partner, is essential as a foundation for resolving disputes. We also need to have a genuine affection for the person we love, demonstrated through generating positivity instead of indifference or disrespect, both of which create more problems. If one party does not want to display positive effort, then the dispute is made more difficult and we may simply have to walk away, if only for a while.

I have always regarded conflict as a challenge to bring forth the power of our Higher Self. Through referencing the Higher Self, we come to a compassionate higher view of the nature of the conflict, and using astrological correlations, we can figure out which astrological energies must be used to resolve the problem.

For example, if the problem involves money or possessions, how to view them or how to use them, we are dealing with the energy of Taurus. Taurus is opposed by Scorpio (desire and fixed interpersonal feelings), and squared by Leo (pride and power) and Aquarius (willfulness and detachment). However, these signs when used positively can resolve Taurus disputes, since Leo and Aquarius can put the brakes on the conflict, while Scorpio can oppose the conflict as an equal force.

In our case of a dispute involving Taurus, the solutions to problems involving money or values will involve some type of letting go of something in a willingness to create space (Scorpio), or perhaps as love, affection, and putting the heart’s priorities first (Leo), or friendship and a commitment to a greater set of shared goals (Aquarius). All of these energies are equal to any Taurus problem.

While these all challenge the basis of a Taurus dispute, the key to finding the best possible outcome is to reference the signs in harmony with the sign characterizing the dispute. In our example, Taurus is in harmony with Capricorn and Virgo. Thus financial issues can be understood clearly if we figure out who is responsible for what (Capricorn), and what practical adjustments must be made to restore the “health” of the finances (Virgo).

The signs in sextile to Taurus are Cancer and Pisces. These signs show how to make productive effort to move the oppositional energies of Taurus and Scorpio into a positive expression. This means that in all disputes involving money or values, sensitivity to needs and renunciation of fear or old habits (Cancer), and compassion, foresight, forgiveness, and accurate intuition (Pisces) will help us achieve productive movement.

In the case of a betrayal of some sort, we are dealing with the energies of Pisces. These disputes are not helped by criticism and worry (Virgo, the opposing sign), talking in circles (Gemini - square), or justifying a dualism (Sagittarius - square.) Betrayal can be blunted by looking at dualities in what we’re being told (Gemini), looking at the details and inconsistencies in what we’re being told (Virgo), and any tendency for the other to “run away” from the dialog (Sagittarius).

If we’re dealing with an issue of betrayal, we can come to a clearer understanding of how to deal with that Pisces problem through signs in harmony with Pisces, those being Scorpio, Cancer, Taurus, and Capricorn.

When there has been a betrayal, we can make progress by invoking and manifesting the virtues of these Earth and Water signs. Among the traits of these signs we find a sensitivity to needs, values, responsibilities, and loyalty. We find tenderness, clarity, simplicity, and responsibility, with a willingness to regenerate by being clear about what must not corrupt the integrity of the relationship.

In another example, any dispute related to a miscommunication, interpretation, clash of ideas or perspectives involves a Gemini problem. If we’re in conflict with another around issues of truth, philosophy, ethical behavior, or religious differences, we have a problem spotlighting Sagittarius energy.

Any Gemini or Sagittarius problem can be harmonized by using Aries, Libra, Leo, and Aquarius energies in productive ways. These approaches may involve such questions as: What is the truth or essential nature of both the lower and Higher Self in each view? What is fair, balanced, and reasonable? How can we play with these ideas creatively so that each sees the truth of the heart? How dispassionate and impersonal can we be in examining the larger context of the idea, interpretation, or perspective? Is this view leading to the greatest good for the greatest number, or is it limited?

These are just a few examples of how knowing something about astrology can help resolve many types of disputes. It is also useful to remember that some time periods are more difficult than others for everyone, and so some problems will pass if we don’t do anything to aggravate them. This is where knowing some astrology can help us stay calm in the midst of storms that affect everyone.

In any case, all challenges are useful in helping us resolve old karmic patterns, and move into a more effective expression of our Higher Self. And once we learn how to view problems and implement the corrective energies, we move beyond getting trapped in old patterns of conflict, and so shift our future karma.

Even though some people are more inclined to create problems than others, we never have to lose our self-control, since that is not helpful. And as we become more at ease in referencing and demonstrating our Higher Self in life’s disputes, we learn how easy it is to avoid unnecessary conflicts before they arise. It is safe to say that if each party in a relationship is living their Higher Self the best they are able, all disputes can be resolved, despite the differences.

(Originally written a long time ago for an Indian glamor magazine that stiffed me.)

Comments

Nice one!

Posted by: C. Chaplin | February 26, 2018 at 05:44 PM

Yep. Saturn in my 7th house: had a relationship that had no future so I ended it. Now Saturn is about to enter my 8th house and I'm a tad concerned. C'est la vie....
Thanks for your wisdom and guidance, Robert!

Posted by: Diana | February 27, 2018 at 08:34 AM