by Robert Wilkinson
A few years ago we discussed some important issues about fate, free will, and how much choice abusers have not to be abusive. Today we re-visit some core principles about this “fire by friction” we all go through from time to time.
In this article and the next one we’ll explore how much choice a person has whether to abuse or not abuse, or become conscious or not in their behaviors. Does someone choose to be unconscious? Can we use our free will to become more aware and turn bad behaviors to good? Can an abusive person "help it?"
I gave you the "prelude" to these a while back in the two part series, Who Is Part of Our Soul Group and How To Forgive Abusive People - Pt. 1 and The Spiritual Dimension of our Soul Group and How to Forgive Abusive People Pt. 2. The topic of how much an unconscious person can control their behavior has been the source of much argument and dispute. Today we’re going to examine the subject from a psycho-spiritual angle to find ways to deal with unconscious behaviors so they don’t turn destructive.
I am aware that this is not an easy subject for many people due to traumatic experiences at the hands of others when younger. I am also aware that there are many different schools of thought regarding the issues at stake. This two part series originally resulted from a dialogue with a client about abusive people, and just how much ability they have to awaken from their abusive state of mind.
In the original dialogue, it was asserted that because a person is incapable or only marginally able to "see" another way, they are not really responsible for their behavior. They felt that a being who is totally self-involved, ego driven, egotistic and deeply immature is absolutely incapable of seeing this or changing it. While there may be free will, if a being cannot perceive a better way to be, how can they change?
As it was put, "In other words, how can we fault those that have no curiosity about their world, and think that sleep, sex and the anesthesia of their choice are what constitutes the universe? They simply can't see it differently."
Here we hit the fine line between innocent ignorance and willful chosen ego ignorance. We all are innocently ignorant until we are in circumstances that force us to choose whether we will be deliberately ignorant or become aware. When the Truth comes knocking on our door, we either open the door or we choose not to open the door because our subconscious mind knows a truth has come to visit and doesn’t want to face it.
All of us begin with a degree of ignorance when we are young. Through direct experience and observation, I have found that when a being is ignorant, they can only awaken by a) seeing the light or b) feeling the heat. These opportunities come as a direct result of our life experiences.
As I explain in Saturn: Spiritual Master, Spiritual Friend, our family and cultural matrix keeps us comfortably ignorant until we start having questions which can’t be answering with the conventional wisdom of those systems. Then, as exemplified by the Buddha’s path, we “slip over the wall of the castle” and find ourselves in a world we never imagined. By stepping outside our own ignorance, through our own discoveries we get glimpses of Light, and by pushing the limits of the boundaries we feel heat, the fire by friction which keeps Life moving forward.
When we find ourselves in situations that offer us the Light of awareness or the heat of necessity, ignorance gives way to the sense of, and eventually knowledge of, a different reality. Then we choose to move into a greater understanding of that experience, or choose to attempt to ignore the greater lessons that experience could lead to. When we see the Light or feel the heat, either we choose to grow or we choose not to grow.
When someone has not yet had an experience that leads them out of ignorance into awareness, they are innocent. When someone has an experience that forces them to take note of a different way to be, they are no longer innocent. Their choices create karmas from that point on, whether they choose to be conscious or unconscious of their actions as their future unfolds.
A being who has an experience that awakens them to however large or small a degree, and consciously or unconsciously chooses to avoid growing or continues to cling to abusive behavior, is operating out of lower ego willfulness. Again, this is where referencing which part of the mind is at work makes things very clear. When lower ego willfulness is present, so are rationalizations.
Rationalizations are explanations which justify abusive attitudes and behaviors. An abuser will always have a reason for being abusive. This is not the “innocent ignorance” of a child, but the deliberate willful ignorance of an adult. And the lower ego clings to its refusal to grow beyond itself.
These people have chosen the way of fractured ego separateness, and from one angle of approach, are refusing to "join the human race." We are here to learn to BE the Loving Wise Intelligence we ARE, but beings who are willfully ignorant have chosen the way of separation, fear, and exploitation. They are capable of giving up this misguided attitude any time they want, but have decided they just don't want to.
The paradox is the moment anyone chooses to grow, their entire lives change instantly for the better. They may or may not recognize these changes for the better, since to be human is “not to know” many things until we can pierce the veil between the known and unknown without fear. It is as though part of the human journey is to have to awaken to “the dream within the dream” so we may see clearly our most natural way to BE our loving, wise, intelligent Self.
While we're all living our lives in the dream of this apparent material reality, there are different levels of dreaming. While some will awaken through a life altering event, there are many who will experience such events but refuse to awaken, believing the dream is real, and the reality of awakening was a dream.
Anyone can awaken at any time, but the quality of that awakening is determined by the imagery and symbols of the one who is awakened. In this sense, those who are awakened only do so within their metaphors. There is the possibility of awakening into good, truth, and beauty, and there is the possibility of awakening into evil, untruth, and ugliness. Each chooses in each moment.
All willful destructive ego behavior arises from the emotions of fear, desire, attachment to experiencing strong sensations, and vanity, in various combinations. We all feel these, and each of us chooses to embrace, reject, or modify these emotional responses as we confront various experiences. When ego chooses to perpetuate unhelpful or abusive behaviors, it is entirely a choice. From one point of view, there is nothing unconscious about it, though there may be unconscious factors present.
In one of the most ancient and venerable books in the world, Light on the Path, we find there are three "Eternal Truths" for humanity:
"Regard the three truths. They are equal. These written above are the first of the rules which are written on the walls of the Hall of Learning. Those that ask shall have. Those that desire to read shall read. Those who desire to learn shall learn.""There are Three Truths which are absolute, and cannot be lost, but yet may remain silent for lack of speech.
"The soul of man is immortal, and its future is the future of a thing whose growth and splendour has no limit.
"The principle which gives life dwells in us, and without us, is undying and eternally beneficent, is not heard, or seen, or smelt, but is perceived by the man who desires perception.
"Each man is his own absolute law-giver, the dispenser of glory or gloom to himself; the decreer of his life, his reward, his punishment.
"These Truths, which are as great as is life itself, are as simple as the simplest mind of man. Feed the hungry with them."
The Third Truth, that each is the decreer of their own life, rewards, and punishments, stands as an affirmation of the Law of Karma. Each chooses to awaken or sleep, to progress or regress, to abuse or to serve the afflicted.
Any being, no matter how ignorant, can choose to become more aware of better actions, feelings, and thoughts. Any being who wants to learn can learn. If a being won't learn from the example of good people, then it's willful ignorance, and makes them entirely responsible for all choices and actions that follow.
Tomorrow we'll continue by examining how intention relates to karma, whether free will can override ignorance, and how an unconscious being can choose to become more aware.
Copyright © 2019 Robert Wilkinson
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